Saturday, January 21, 2012

Female Humour I


The C-5 Crew

While the C-5 was turning over its engines, a female crewman
gave the G. I.'s on board the usual information regarding seat belts,
emergency exits, etc.

Finally, she said, “Now sit back and enjoy your trip
while your captain, Judith Campbell and crew
take you safely to Afghanistan.”

An old Master Sergeant sitting in the eighth row thought to himself,
Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman?”

When the attendant came by, he asked, 
“Did I understand you right? Is the captain...a Woman?”
Yes!” said the attendant, “in fact the entire crew is female.”

My God,” he said, “I wish I had two double scotch and sodas.
I don't know what to think with only women up there in the cockpit.”

That's another thing, Sergeant,” said the crew member...
We No Longer Call it The Cockpit!
It's the Box Office!”

(Thank you, Sherrie, for sending the foregoing to me)

The Porch

A blonde teenage girl wanting to earn some extra money for the summer 
decided to hire herself out as 'a handy-woman' and started canvassing a 
nearby well-to-do-neighbourhood. She went to the first house and asked 
the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the porch,” he said. 
“How much would you charge me?” Delighted, the girl quickly responded, 
“How about $50?” The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage. The man's wife, hearing the conversation said to her husband, “Does she realize that our porch goes
...all around the house?” He responded, “That's a bit cynical, isn't it?” 
The wife replied, “You're right! I guess I'm starting to believe all those 
dumb blonde jokes.

Later that day,the blonde came to the door to collect her money. 
“You're finished already?” the startled husband asked. “Yes,” the blonde replied, “and I even had paint left over so I gave it two coats.” Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the fifty dollars and handed it to her along with 
a ten dollar tip.

And by the way, the blonde added, “it's not a Porch ... it's a Lexus!”

"Pearl of Wisdom"
You are the cause of everything 
that happens to  you.  
Be careful what you cause. 

Merle Baird-Kerr                   Comments always welcome ... scroll down
written October 12, 2011             or e-mail ... inezkate@gmail.com

4 comments:

  1. Merle... Just love it.
    Have a great weekend !
    Sherrie & Alan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Humour is a wonderful aspect in Life. These stories I also loved. Thanks Sherrie and Alan...always an inpiration
      to me.

      Delete
    2. Humour is a wonderful aspect in Life. These stories I also loved. Thanks Sherrie and Alan...always an inpiration
      to me.

      Delete
  2. Humour is a wonderful aspect in Life!
    I also loved these stories. As ever, an inspiration to me.
    Thank You for your interest, Sherrie and Alan.

    ReplyDelete