School Daze

What shall I do?
In what  profession should I excel?
These were questions with answers I need to pursue.  My sister and I, attended  both the village Public and High School  When required,  bus service to London and eastbound to Toronto.  And when necessary, my Dad drove a vehicle.

While attending College in Toronto, a friend, Eleanor, and I  needing and intrigued by summer jobs, accepted four 2-week-sessions in rural areas of British Columbia.  The opportunity entailed teaching Daily Vacation Bible School to rural children weekly Monday to Friday.   Then, on Sundays, we arranged a  church gathering for adults and their families.  It was a given we had the ability to sing hymns...have ability to play piano or organ...then present a brief sermon applicable to all ages.
These experiences for 2 summers were invaluable.
Because  our jobs were Christian related, our train fare to and from, was subsidized.
These summer jobs led Eleanor and  me into the teaching profession  ~ enticing us, upon our return home, to attend Hamilton Teachers College.  So it was, on a  Labour  Day weekend, we were assigned schools in which to teach.  I secured a Grade 4 teaching  job on Hamilton Mountain.  Linden Park Public School and adjacent Hill Park Secondary School, were both under  construction; Consequently,
within two years, the school principal recommended my name to the Board of Education as a teaching opportunity for newly trained teachers-to-be.   As any teacher can relate, we all could write a book
about our challenges and experiences.

Class Avoidance
Billy, a Grade 5’er, had a  few bothersome friends, whom he tried to avoid before school  and  after hours. And at recess time one afternoon he did not return  to his  classroom,. Where?  Where, oh,where is Billy?  No one had seen him on the playground!  Being Grade 5, did he  return home?  Did  he sneak off  to a local  store  for candy, pop  or gum?  Concerned, tasking  my class with an  assignment,  from v\the school office, I called his  home!  Not there!  Returning to my Grade 5’ers,  I heard Bangs, Bangs, Bangs on a locker door adjacent to my classroom.   Vertically tall and  and  narrow,  easily, one could hide within a locker!  Opening the locker door, there was  Billy!!!  As a joke,  he was hiding (at recess time) from a playground bully!

MBK ~ Sept. 30/20

Absurdities of Today

 Phaedrus stated, Things are not always what they seem.
The first appearance deceives many...the intelligence of a few ~
perceiving what has been carefully hidden.

Just because something isn't a lie, does not mean it isn't deceptive.
A liar knows that he is a liar ~ but one who speaks mere portions of truth
in order to deceive, is a craftsman of destruction. (Criss Jami)

Observation by Walter Scott:
Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive!

Let Me Get This Straight

From one of my faithful readers, Tom contributed this current issue about a trip to the groceteria to buy a pack of sliced ham wrapped in plastic...a loaf of bread in a plastic bag...a quart of milk in a plastic jug...a pack of table napkins wrapped in plastic...a Greek salad in a plastic bag...a plastic bottle of mustard...and a plastic bottle of ketchup. They won't give me a plastic bag to carry it home!

Why? Because the plastic bag is bad for the environment!!!

The Dead Horse

A young man named Donald bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. So the farmer drove up to Donald's house and said, “Sorry son, but I have bad news: the horse died last evening.” Donald replied, “Well, then, just give my money back.”
The farmer said, “Can't do that! I went and spent it already.”
Donald said, “OK. Then just bring me the dead horse.”
The farmer asked, “What are you gonna do with him?”
Donald replied, “Sure, I can...Watch Me! I just won't tell anybody he'd died.”

A month later, the farmer met up with Donald and asked. “What happened with that dead horse?”
Donald said, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at five dollars apiece and made a profit of $2,495.”

The farmer questioned, Didn't anyone complain?

Donald said, Just the guy that won. So I gave him his five dollars back.

Social Distancing

I went to the bathroom at a restaurant.
I washed my hands...opened the door with my elbow.
I raised the toilet seat with my foot.
I switched on the water faucet with a tissue.
Then, opened the bathroom door to leave with my elbow.
And, when I returned to my table,
it was then I realized ~
I forgot to pull up my pants!

A bagpiper in full dress stated, I'm giving up drinking for a month.
(Sorry, bad punctuation)...I'm Giving Up!
Drinking for a whole month!

Pharmacist advises worried female customer:
You may experience irritability and pain in the hands and wrists...
and that's just from trying to get the cap off this medication!

Concerned buyer asks: Does anyone know how long toilet paper will last ~ if you freeze it?

Quarantined with hubby for 2 weeks, Gertrude is solemnly knitting
something special for him: a long narrow knitting rope with loop at the end!

When the hair salon was closed...the message stated:
Your dog groomer next door has a cancellation.

Home-Schooler posts notice:
If you see my kids locked outside today ~ Mind Your Own Business!

Quarantine Meal Schedule

7 am: Breakfast
7:15: Dessert Breakfast
8:30: Panic Snack/News
9:45: Chocolate
11:30: Snack while standing up
12:30: Lunch with small dessert
2:00: Post nap luncheon
4:30: Trail Mix|
6:00: Dinner with weird vibes
10:00: Ice Cream

The Smartest Man

There's a plane with 5 passengers aboard: Donald Trump, Boris Johnson, Pope Francis, Angela Merkel and a 10 year old school boy. The plane is about to crash and there are only 4 parachutes.
Trump says, I need one. I'm the smartest man in the world
and am needed to make America Great Again! He takes one and jumps.

Johnson says, I'm needed to sort out Britain. He takes one and jumps.
The Pope says: I need one as the world needs the Catholic Church. He takes one and jumps.
Merkel says to the 10 year old boy: You can have the last parachute.
I've lived my life, yours is only just starting.
The 10 year old boy replies: Don't worry, there are 2 parachutes left .
The smartest man in the world took my school bag!
(the foregoing from one of my faithful readers)

March 8, 2020

Connection to Wildlife

Canadians are so favoured to have a vast array of wildlife.
Canadian Wildlife Federation encourages all Canadians to enjoy activities like canoeing...bird watching...gardening...hiking...fishing...or just appreciating Nature. The CWF encourages Canadians to cherish their time outdoors to conserve this lifestyle as well as the wonderful wildlife that call the Canadian landscape “ Home.”

Being one of the charities I yearly support, the CWF sends me a yearly calendar with Reflections of Nature photographs submitted by its readers. Accompanying each month is a brief description of its biography.

January, 2020: The Canada Lynx comes equipped to withstand the harshest winters. It has large feet that are covered in thick fur and act as snowshoes, allowing the Canada Lynx to walk over snow.

February: A photo of three American Black Ducks who may spend the winter resting in areas like bays, ponds and marshes where they will feel protected from the elements and predators. Some American Black Ducks have wintered in farmers’ fields and beaver ponds too.

March: A cute Snowshoe Hare dons a white coat during the winter. When danger lurks nearby, the hare will become quite still with the hopes of fooling a predator into thinking it’s part of the snowy landscape or it may flee. Its fur coat is also 3 layers thick to keep it winter warm.

April: This Spotted Sandpiper is most likely being raised by the male. After a female Spotted Sandpiper lays a clutch of eggs, the male typically takes over by keeping the eggs warm and raising the young.

May: The Two-Spotted Bumble Bee is an important pollinator. To collect pollen while they are maneuvering from one flower to another, bumble bees have long hairs on their hind legs that curve toward heir bodies which act as a sort of basket that collects pollen.

June: Humpback whales regularly jump out of the water and land with a resounding crash.
It is thought this may be a form of communication as the resulting sounds travel long distances.

July: Moose cools off during the summer months with a long soak. It is also a remarkably powerful swimmer and can dive over five metres to reach plants on a lake bottom.

August: Painted Lady Butterfly is the most widely distributed butterfly in the world, found on every continent except Australia and Antarctica. It undertakes an impressive migration from Mexico to Canada where it can be found in gardens fuelling up on nectar from flowers such as sunflowers, asters

and Joe-pye weeds.

September: The At-risk Blanding’s Turtle will sprawl out on a log or rock and bask in the sun for hours. This is how all fresh-water turtles regulate their body temperatures and give their metabolisms a helpful boost.

October: The Red Fox begins to stake out a spot to seek shelter for the cold winter months in autumn.
It will usually opt to make it through the coldest weather and snow storms in heavy bush and thickets.

November: Snowy Owl can spend hours perched on utility poles, fence posts, buildings and trees to keep an eye on the landscape below. Once it spots its prey (small mammals in their winter range such as deer mice and Meadow Voles) it will take up the hunt!

December: The Varied Thrush happily feed on nuts and berries over the winter months, although it will also eat seeds from ground feeders. Some of its favourite fruit-bearing shrubs are snowberry, dogwood, blueberry, huckleberry and thimbleberry,

Compiled by MBK...September 14, 2020
Comments always welcome: mbairdkerr@cogeco.ca

City and Farm Life

Father Clement had a farm ~ wife Edna, girls Eileen and Merle,
Nero, the family dog and several milking cows.
Chickens who daily laid eggs and horses who pulled farm equipment
(prior to Dad’s purchase of a red McCormick Deering tractor
with lugs upon its metal wheels for soil gripping).
Oh! Yes! There was Joey a white pet drake who quacked his way
‘round the barnyard’ seeking food and attention from humans.

In early June, Eileen and I (with pads upon our knees) picked red ripened strawberries from the nearby field. Mom had a fabulous shortcake recipe which she created ~ upon which we we’d top with sugary strawberries and whipped cream for dinner dessert. Deliciously so Good! Following the strawberry season, there were ripened cherries from the orchard’s trees ~ which also grew apple and pear trees.

With baskets hung around our necks, we’d gently select the ripened fruits. Mom, being an entrepreneurial cook (with no cook books available) she excelled in creating mew recipes ~ even submitting her pies and cakes for judging at country fairs. Dad was equally skilled with knowledge of his farm animals...fields of clover, oats, wheat and corn.

As a young girl, I was in love with the horses who dwelt winter-long in the barns except for a daily run for about an hour in the fresh air. When country roads in winter were closed due to snow, Dad would often hitch him to a 4-seater sleigh: and you know: Oh! What Fun it is to ride in a 1-horse open sleigh!

When opening the farm door, the horse(s) would whinny for my attention, hoping for tidbits and delicacies which they’d nibble from my hand. Then I’d back them out of their stalls ~ giving mutual love and devotion while providing their stalls with fresh straw.. So it was with pleasure I assisted Dad with these horses, who in spring and summer, pulled his field machinery (prior to the day he purchased a tractor.) Although now citified, my love for the equine (including our woodland deer) is still foremost in my mind.

The tractor I learned to drive , pulling machinery for planting, cultivating weeds and harvesting; the latter required a tractor, loader and neighbouring farmers who travelled from farm to farm assisting each other with these tasks. Without horses, my task was to drive the tractor...pull a large wagon with a man or two aboard it to arrange the produce and following them was the hay-loader with moving teeth to pick up the cured hay (for example) Often the hay or grain in bales or shocked to ripen in the sun...then travelled by machine to the wagon, all pulled by the tractor which I drove.

One experience I’ll ne’re forget! As a young girl, I had developed a phobia of snakes (probably due to our brick home being near a flowing creek) On a certain harvest day, when driving the tractor, one of the wagon men discovered a lengthy garter snake...which had been lying amongst the bales of cured hay...when it travelled to the wagon, one of the men picked it up...thrust it in the air toward me on the tractor (as a joke). Said snake landed on my shoulder...fell to my lap. So terrified, that putting the tractor in gear...I fled the scene !!! Never to return to the field that day!!!
My father was most displeased because I was essential to his task!

One of my readers questioned why I did not write about my personal family.

Author: MBK...written September 7, 2020
Comments most welcome...mbairdkerr@cogeco.ca

Philosophies and Advice

Today, philosophically, they offer wisdom, conceptions,
theories, even axioms to guide our daily living.

Several, over time, I've accumulated and share with you in this writing.

Ancient Greek and philosophers like Plato and “Aristotle
developed theories to establish culture and clear insights.

A typical playboy, Plato, from a wealthy connected Athenian family, met a man named Socrates
who taught that the surest path to wisdom was rational contemplation...and that, being a lover of wisdom or philosopher was the highest form of life! According to him: All of us want to crawl out of the cave of darkness and ignorance...and walk in the path of truth.

Plato concluded: There is no other road to happiness...either for society or the individual.

Many quotes in the world today are principles by which we lead our lives: from the days of Plato and Socrates to Biblical disciples ...to famous people of today.

Quentin L. Cook stated: We must live by Faith...not by Fear.
Oscar Wilde stated: Every great man nowadays, has his disciples.

Thomas S. Monson advised: Never let a problem to be solved
become more important than a person to be loved.

From unknown author: God doesn't call the qualified ~ He qualifies the Called.

To make a difference in someone's life ,
you don't need to be brilliant, rich,, beautiful or perfect;
You just have to care!

Like a tree in the forest ~ be someone different (Lori Deschene)

Advice from Dr. Seuss: Think left...and think right...and think high;
Oh! the thanks you can think up, if only you try.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity
and I'm not sure about the universe: opined Albert Einstein.

Without music, Life would be a mistake stated Friedrich Nietzsche.

Benjamin Franklin Wade's advice:
Go to Heaven for the climate...and Hell for the company!

Observation by Nicolas Chamfort: A Day without Laughter is a day wasted.

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment
before starting to improve the world! (Anne Frank)

Jonathan Swift's counsel: May you Live every day of your Life!

Personal Advice by Steven Covey:
Be patient with yourself ~ Self-growth is tender ~ it's holy ground
There's no greater investment than self-growth!

Roman Payne declares: O, Sunshine!
The most precious gold to be found on Earth.

Challenge with Family:
Accidentally, I stepped on my husband's foot.
“Sorry!”
Then, accidentally, I stepped on my dog's paw:
Oh! My God! I'm So Sorry!
Are you OK, Buddy? I'm So Sorry...I didn't mean to hurt you!
I Love you...You want a Treat?
You're the Best Boy...yes you are!

Watch your thoughts ~ they lead to Attitudes.
Watch your attitudes ~t hey lead to Words.
Watch your words~ they lead to Actions..
Watch your actions ~ they lead to Habits.
Watch your habits ~ they form your Character.
Character determines your Destiny.

(Unknown Author)

Written June 2, 2020
To respond... mbairdkerr@cogeco.ca