Friday, May 25, 2012

Common Sense

Definition:  Sound and prudent judgement based on a simple perception
of the situation or facts.  This “common sense” equates to the knowledge
and experience which most people already have, or which the person
using the term believes that they do or should have.

In case you are in a quandary, these illustrations
will do the talking!

The Baby

It was late at night, and Heidi who was expecting her second child, was home
alone with her 3-year-old daughter, Katelyn.  When Heidi started to go
into labour, she  called 911.  Due to a power outage at the time, only one
paramedic responded to the call.

The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Katelyn to hold a 
flashlight high over her Mommy so he could see while he helped deliver
the baby.

Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked.  Heidi pushed  and pushed,
and after a little while, Connor was born.  The paramedic lifted him by his feet,
and spanked  him on his bottom.  Connor began to cry.

The paramedic then thanked Katelyn for her help, and asked the wide-eyed-
3-year-old what she thought about  what she had just witnessed.

Katelyn quickly responded, ”He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place .
Spank him again!”

Mother Who Loved the Arts

A Mother who loved the arts was bragging about her children to some friends.

“My children are following my lead and are working in the arts,” she said with
obvious pride.  “Mary is now playing first violin for the symphony orchestra,
Robert's paintings are being displayed at the art museum this month...and David
is the hunter in Swan Lake.”

“That's wonderful,” said one of the friends.  “What about Alice? Did she ever
get a job in the arts?”  “No, said the mother, “Alice is working in real estate.”

“Oh,well,” said the friend.  “Don't worry.  Alice has a beautiful voice and she is
 still very young.  She may yet get a job in the arts.”

“Oh, I hope not,” said the mother.  “If it weren't for Alice, we would all be starving!”

Talk is Not Cheap

A doctor approached her attorney friend and said, “I've got a problem.Whenever
I'm at a party or social gathering, people always tell me about their ailments.  
 I don't mind  giving a little medical advice, but I feel like I'm being cheated 
out of my fee.   Would it be legal to bill them?” 
 Immediately the attorney replied,  “Absolutely!  That will be $300!”

The Crow and the Rabbit

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. 
A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do
 nothing all day long?”  The crow answered, “Sure, why not?”

So the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and rested. All of a sudden,
a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

                                    Moral of the story is...”To be sitting and doing nothing,
                                                  you must be sitting very, very high up!”

         . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Sure...”common sense” is often overused and overworked. 
Not surprisingly, there comes a time when “he” just can't hack it anymore!

The Obituary
(printed in The London Times)

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has
been with us for many years.  No one knows for sure how old he was, since his
birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. 
He will be remembered as having cultivated such  valuable lessons as:
                                                       Know when to come in out of the rain.
                                                       Why the early bird gets the worm.
                                                        Life isn't always fair.
                                                        Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (Don't spend more
 than you earn) and reliable strategies (Adults, not children are in charge.)

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned, but
overbearing  regulations were set in place.  Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged  with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens being
suspended from scho using mouthwash after lunch and a teacher fired
for reprimanding an unruly student.
All these contributed to the worsening of his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job
that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent
to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents
 when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses;
and criminals received better treatment than the victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from
a burglar in your  own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot.  She spilled a little in her lap...
and was promptly awarded a huge settlement!

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents (Truth and Trust),
 by his wife (Discretion), by his daughter (Responsibility) and by his son (Reason).

He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers:  I Know My Rights
                                                             I Want it Now
                                                             Someone Else is to Blame
                                                             I'm a Victim
                                                             Pay me for Doing Nothing.

Not many attended his funeral...because so few realized he was gone.
If you still remember him, join the majority...and do nothing!

(Unknown source)

... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

“Pearl of Wisdom”
Blame for error always lies with those who act.
Those who do nothing...
what do they have to be wrong about?

Merle Baird-Kerr . . . written February 27, 2012
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