Monday, November 21, 2011

Bridge Humour


There are many, many and many more humourous stories around, worthy 
of relating to friends. These are a few I have collected on various topics 
which I share with you...knowing one or more will enlighten your day
and put a smile upon your face.

(To non-bridge players, the terminology in this game 
“may sound quite suggestive”.)

They Call it Bridge” or “Why the Cleaning Lady Quit” !

A cleaning woman was applying for a new position. When asked why she left
her last employment, she replied, “Well Sir, the wages were good, but it was the most ridiculous place I ever worked.” They played a game they call Bridge, and last night a lot of folks were there.

As I was about to bring refreshments, I heard a man say, “Lay down and
let's see what you got.” Another man said, “I got strength, but not much length.” And then, another man said to a lady,” Take your hand off my trick.”

I pretty near dropped dead just when a lady answered, “You forced me. 
You jumped me twice when you didn't have the strength for one good raise.” Another lady was talking and one said, “Now it's my turn to play with your husband while you play with mine.”

Well, I just got my hat and coat and as I was leaving, I hope to die if one of them didn't say, “Well, I guess we can go home...this is our last rubber!”

...................................................

Number One Desire!

A man is stranded on a desert island for ten years. One day he notices a speck
on the horizon and he watches intently as it draws near. “It can't be a boat,” 
he thinks. “It can't be a fish.”
Suddenly, a beautiful woman emerges from the sea wearing scuba gear 
and a wet suit.

Hi, there,” she says
He was so amazed. “But...but...how did you get here?”

Never mind,” says the woman as she unzips the left pocket of her wet suit 
and hands the man a cigarette.
Wow! This is terrific! I haven't had a smoke in ten years!”

Enjoy,” says the woman as she unzips the right pocket of her wet suit and 
gives the man a flask of whiskey. “I can't believe it! It tastes so good!”

Next the woman starts to unzip the long zipper that runs down the front 
of her wet suit. “Now...I've got something you really want!

What?” he says, “Don't tell me you've got a deck of cards in there too!”

Merle Baird-Kerr . . . written October 10, 2011

Comments always appreciated... scroll down (you may sign in as “anonymous”)
or e-mail ... inezkate@gmail.com

It was in June of this year that I published “The Exciting World of Bridge”.
In it I included several humourous situations that I had observed
and experienced during play at the numerous games
in which I participated...unbelievable humour!

Next posting in this series is ... Business Humour.

4 comments:

  1. These are really cute and funny stories... now I know why people play Bridge ! And they say its a mind game... how true is that !

    Sherrie

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  2. Such a true loyal friend/follower/inspirational guru! The beauty about Bridge, is anyone any level (of ability) can Play and Enjoy! Most Online players state...Novice, Beginner, Intermediate, Advanced, Expert, World Class.Most (except for the higher rankings) are considerate to play with lesser abilities). I have a "Bridge Family" around the world...known as "Friends" and can communicate with them at any time.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Merle,
    Your friends around the world sound more entertaining than Facebook experiences... have fun ! Can't wait to read your next business humour !
    Sherrie

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you Sherrie...appreciate your comments! Business Humour in the next of series...is exciting...will be in 3 parts I, II and III...to avoid the tedium of reading!

    ReplyDelete