Sunday, November 20, 2011

Advantages of Living After 50!


Canada's National Child Day ...
is held November 20th each year as enacted in Bill C-371
otherwise known as the Child Day Act by Parliament of Canada in 1997.
It commemorates the United Nations' adoption of
the human rights of all children and youth”.

My file has the above notation, about which I intended 
to develop an article to blog-post. What Happened??? 
No one seems to have any knowledge about this legislation!
Perhaps, “Family Day” (in Ontario, Alberta and Saskatchewan) 
observed the 3rd Monday of February... replaced the foregoing.

At the other end of Life's spectrum are what children often call “old people”
In lieu of paying homage to youth today, I take the liberty to write about ...
The Advantages of Living after 50!
An Online Bridge Partner sent the following to me in January, 2010.

SOMEONE HAD TO REMIND ME, SO I'M REMINDING YOU TOO.
 DON'T LAUGH ..... IT IS ALL TRUE ...
 PERKS OF REACHING 50 OR BEING OVER 60
AND HEADING TOWARDS 70!

ADVANTAGES OF LIVING AFTER 50!

KIDNAPPERS ARE NOT VERY INTERESTED IN YOU.

IN A HOSTAGE SITUATION, YOU ARE LIKELY TO BE RELEASED FIRST.

NO ONE EXPECTS YOU TO RUN ... ANYWHERE.

PEOPLE CALL AT 9 PM AND ASK, “DID I WAKE YOU?”

PEOPLE NO LONGER VIEW YOU AS A HYPOCHONDRIAC.

THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO LEARN THE HARD WAY.

THINGS YOU BUY NOW WON'T WEAR OUT.

YOU CAN EAT SUPPER OR DINNER AT 4 PM.

YOU CAN LIVE WITHOUT SEX BUT NOT YOUR GLASSES.

YOU GET INTO HEATED ARGUMENTS ABOUT PENSION PLANS.

YOU NO LONGER THINK OF SPEED LIMITS AS A CHALLENGE.

YOU QUIT TRYING TO HOLD YOUR STOMACH IN NO MATTER
WHO WALKS INTO THE ROOM.

YOU SING ALONG WITH ELEVATOR MUSIC.

YOUR EYES WON'T GET MUCH WORSE.

YOUR INVESTMENT IN HEALTH INSURANCE IS FINALLY BEGINNING
TO PAY OFF.

YOUR JOINTS ARE MORE ACCURATE METEOROLOGISTS THAN
THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE.

YOUR SECRETS ARE SAFE WITH YOUR FRIENDS BECAUSE THEY
CANNOT REMEMBER THEM EITHER.

YOUR SUPPLY OF BRAIN CELLS IS FINALLY DOWN TO
MANAGEABLE SIZE.

YOU CAN'T REMEMBER WHO SENT YOU THIS LIST.

AND YOU NOTICE THESE ARE ALL IN BIG PRINT FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE.

WARNING ... TO THOSE LIVING AFTER 50

MOST IMPORTANTLY, NEVER EVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES,
TAKE A SLEEPING PILL AND A LAXATIVE ON THE SAME NIGHT.

Merle Baird-Kerr . . . written November 20, 2011

Comments Welcome ... scroll down ... you may sign in as ”anonymous”
or e-mail ... inezkate@gmail.com

6 comments:

  1. Merle,
    These quotes on aging are very funny and very true. I identified with everyone of them.
    Also its nice to be retired now and be able to do my exercises and read & answer my emails anytime I want to... there is no rushing anymore... just enjoying my life. Thanks for the big smile today !
    Hugs,Sherrie

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  2. Merle,

    Thank you for making me laugh on Sunday morning when I am so bogged up with my studies. If possible, I would like to receive a copy of this write-up via email so that I can send it to few of my friends.

    Pary

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  3. There is Beauty in Everything! Even Retirement, which gives us "fresh outlets" and "fresh outlooks" on Life!
    Opportunities which we not otherwise pursue! Pleased that this made Sunday...a Happy Day, Sherrie.

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  4. Pary...even when busy with studies it is refreshing to have a few smiling, inspirational and goodwill thoughts to humour our busy hours...taking time
    to smile is very self-gratifying.

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  5. I figured this one out all by my oldself.
    Simply take the Laxative FIRST. THEN the sleeping pill. LOL

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  6. If there is humour to be found in anything, Sol, you can find it! Fine Suggestion! Keep reading these articles, enjoying and responding!

    ReplyDelete