Thursday, April 21, 2016

Anger Behaviour

With Joel Osteen's words, I fully agree. “Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you're doing when you indulge these negative emotions, is giving something outside yourself POWER over your happiness! You can choose to not let little things upset you.” Even a child with temper tantrums must understand and learn that these actions are not conducive to obtaining what he wants. If this behaviour 'works' for him/her, then tantrums become a practised habit!
Seeing Red
(excerpted from an article by Joanne Richard ~ Postmedia Network)

WTF...dude? Why is everyone so mad?
Modern life is making us super angry, says Sandi Mann, a psychological lecturer who has written extensively on anger issues and we're losing it on trivial annoyances. Inconveniences send us off the deep end ~ traffic, lineups, self-checkout machines and Internet disruptions. Our annoyances are bottomless. Drivers talking on their cellphones rate as a top annoyance with Canadians, reports a recent Autotrader.ca study, along with slow drivers, speeders and bad parkers.

We often seem to act like toddlers, expecting the world to revolve around us and for us to get what we want it. When life does not perform like that, like toddlers, we stamp our feet in rage. We are more stressed than ever before and also we have higher 'expectations' that things should go well.

When people are filled with negative feelings, they are ready to do battle at the drop of a hat, not to mention a word or a look. Something small is only the trigger to all the bottled-up negative emotions recycled for a temporary relief ~ aka 'lashing out'. It all comes down to an emotional pain or hurt that has been bottled up and not dealt with, so it turns into anger, even explosive! If the person learned early in life how to deal with their pain as they experienced it, and expressed their anger appropriately at the time when they felt hurt...they will feel free. Unfortunately, people never learn the skills to deal with their emotions. For many, it`s easier to do nothing!

Anger, the most commonly suppressed emotion, is not inherently bad ~ it has evolutionary value and it is potentially a motivating, positive force. It is only bad when we have too much of it or express it inappropriately. Channelling anger is the best way to use it to advantage ~ for example, do something positive to change things.
The strong person is not the good wrestler;
Rather, the strong person is the one who controls himself when he is angry.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari)

Road Rage: It happened a few years ago when I turned south on Walker's Line with plenty of space before the down-bound traffic approached. Evident was the fact that a 30-something-aged woman was passing this line of vehicles and speeding. Feeling that I had intercepted 'her lane', she hurriedly passed on my left...cut in front of me...coming to an abrupt stop in front my vehicle. She immediately opened her car door, leaving it open (against the down-bound traffic)...marched back to me...and with fists pounding on my window, yelled “Open it! Open it!” Calmly I sat there, ignoring her demand. As a last resort, she hustled to her car, retrieved pen and paper and copied my licence plate number! Yelled at me again...then with no response, she took off!

Anger is never without a reason, but seldom without a good one.
(BenjaminFranklin) 

Papelbon Done After Fight With Harper: Washington National`s closer, Jonathan Papelbon will miss the rest of the season after his dugout fight with teammate, Bryce Harper...4 games because of a team suspension for that episode and 3 games because he dropped his appeal to a Major League Baseball ban for throwing at an opponent`s head the previous week.

On Sunday, after Harper (a leading National League MVP contender) flied out in the 8th inning against Philadelphia, he headed to the dugout where he and Papelbon exchanged words. The argument escalated and Papelbon reached out with his left hand and grabbed Harper by the throat. Papelbon then shoved the outfielder toward the bench with both hands before teammates and coaching staff pulled the pair apart. The National`s General Manager, Mike Rozzo called what Papelbon did “not acceptable” and “not in line with the way our players are expected to conduct themselves.”

Shoplifter Rage: Jadwiga Bajzert is a 60-year-old church lady with a bad temper. That 'anger management issue' landed her in provincial court Wednesday (September 30th) is a case best described as 'shoplifter rage'. Court was told that in March of 2014, Bajzert was observed stuffing her purse with bread, bacon and sausage at the Starksky Fine Foods on Queenston Road. That was bad enough, but things took a turn to nasty when the store's 'loss-prevention-officer' confronted her in front of the store. The said officer in court, stated she had a gun and would shoot him...then bit the officer's left hand and kicked him. When he tried to prevent her from fleeing in her Chevrolet Impala, she put the car in reverse with the driver's door open and aggressively backed up, knocking the loss-prevention officer to the ground (who wasn't seriously hurt). He got a photo of the licence plate as she was last seen driving north on Nash Road. She was arrested at her home in Stoney Creek.

A teary-eyed, remorseful Bajzert, accompanied by her husband, pleaded guilty to theft under $5,000 and assault. Court also learned that when she was on bail she stole a $60 bottle of whiskey from the LCBO on Highway 8 in July...also pleading guilty to that theft.

Ontario Court Justice Timothy Culver agreed to a joint submission that saw the Polish native and Canadian citizen sentenced to the seven days of pretrial custody (she had served previously), along with 18 months of probation and 40 hours of community service. She was ordered to seek “Anger Management” counselling. Justice Culver had a warning for her:
If this keeps up, you're going to face a period of incarceration
and it won't be for a short time. You can't keep doing this!
Get some counselling for your anger...or you won't enjoy the experience
next time you come to court!”
(as reported by Ken Peters to the Hamilton Spectator)

``In controversy, the instant we feel anger, we have already ceased
striving for the truth and begun striving for ourselves. (Buddha)

How to Cope:
DON`T GED MAD...GET EVEN TEMPERED!
Expert Sandi Mann suggests:
Slow your breathing down.
Use self-talk...for example...will this matter to me in 5 years?
Lower your expectations...life is not perfect.
Expect things to go wrong sometimes.
Be kind to people.
When these fail...get 'anger management' counselling!

Merle Baird-Kerr...written October 1, 2015
Comments are welcome...email:

4 comments:

  1. SHERRIE WRITES: "Good article on Anger, Merle...
    and always remember, ANGER is only a letter
    away from DANGER!"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you,Sherrie...for your perspective and insight...re this personality trait!

    ReplyDelete
  3. MEG COMMENTS: "This was very interesting...and true!
    Too bad, you can't post it in the lobby!"

    ReplyDelete
  4. Whether the person is afflicted with 'anger' himself/herself...
    it behooves the rest of us to understand when situations arise that tempt us to refrain from acceptance...instead how 'to
    cope' with persons who create these occurences!

    ReplyDelete