New Brunswick

One of Canada's three Maritime Provinces, New Brunswick's southeastern coast borders on the Bay of Fundy. Its long western side abuts Maine and the northern end is adjacent to Quebec. The upper eastern part...shores along the Gulf of St. Lawrence. New Brunswick is the only Canadian province that is constitutionally bilingual. Its capital city is Fredericton.

The Bay of Fundy has the highest, wildest tides in the world.

New Brunswick has the warmest salt water beaches north of Virginia.

More kinds of whales can be seen more often than anywhere else.

Michias Seal Island (in the Bay of Fundy) is home to 900 pairs of breeding Atlantic puffins.

King's County is the 'covered bridge capital of Canada'.

Walk the ocean floor when the Bay of Fundy tides are out.

New Brunswick winters are defined as 'pure white gold' (annual snowfalls of 200 to 400 centimetres).

The Appalachian Range is North America's oldest mountain range.

Did You Know ...the inception of the ice-cream-cone was born in Sussex corner ~ the Dairy Capital of Canada, midway along Fundy Coastal Drive? Locals tell the story of barber, Walter Donnelly, who made a bad batch of dough. He was at loss with what to do with his crispy batter; so he ran next door to the ice-cream-parlour...and the rest, as they say, is history!

Did You Know...about the 'one that got away'? Fish stories abound in the Miramichi River in the heart of salmon country. The river boasts the best salmon fishing in the world. Just ask American test pilot, Chuck Yeager and U.S. General Norman Schwarzkopf ~ two of many famous anglers who have waded in the river.

Lights, Camera, Action: New Brunswick made history at the Nickel Theater in Saint John. They were the first to accompany 'silent movie pictures' in North America. Film mogul, Louis B. Mayer, grew up in St. John. The port city has been home to several Hollywood legends...including Walter Pidgeon and Donald Sutherland.

“Cymbalyly” Fantastic: The cymbal factory in Meductic is one of the finest in North America. Musicians in over 80 countries play New Brunswick-made-Sabian cymbals. Drummers for Eric Clapton, Phil Collins and Billy Joel...as well as percussionists with the Boston, Philadelphia, Los Angeles, Cleveland and New York Philharmonic Orchestras won't venture on stage without their Sabian cymbals!

A River Runs Backwards: At 'low tide', watch the St. John River crash through a narrow gorge and tumble into the harbour. Come back at 'high tide' and watch the same river go the other way. The Bay of Fundy's incredible tides are too strong for the mighty St. John River...forcing the water to flow upstream twice a day, every day. Totally Awesome!

Provincial Flower: purple violet. Bird: Black-Capped-Chickadee. Tree: Balsam Fir.

Slogan: “Hope was Restored.”

Nicknames: The Picture Province, The Loyalist Province, The Drive-Through Province (to visit).

Four Married Guys Go Fishing

After an hour of fishing, the following conversation took place.

First Guy: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.”

Second Guy” That's nothing! I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool.”

Third Guy: “Man, you both have it easy. I had to promise my wife I will remodel the kitchen for her.”

They continued to talk when they realized that the 4^th guy had not said a word. So they asked him. “You haven't said anything about what you had to do to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?”

Fourth Guy: I just set my alarm for 5:30 AM. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave my wife a nudge and asked, “Fishing or Sex?” and she said, “Wear a Sweater.”

Big Baby

A Maritimer from New Brunswick is drinking in a New York bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar because he announces his wife has just produced a typical Maritime baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh 25 pounds, but the Maritimer just shrugs. “That's about average down home, folks...like I said, “my boy's a typical New Brunswick baby boy.” Congratulations showered him from all around and many exclamations of “WOW!” were heard. One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains.

Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender says, “Say, you're the father of that typical New Brunswick baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. Everybody's been makin' bets about how big he's gonna be in two weeks...so how much does he weigh now?”

The proud father answers, “Seventeen pounds.” The bartender is puzzled and concerned and asks, “What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born.” The Maritime father takes a slow swig from his long-necked Moose Head Beer...wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, “Had him circumcised.”

No Work Today!

A guy rings up his boss and says, “I can't come to work today.” The boss asks why and the guy says, “It's my eyes.” The boss asks, “What's wrong with your eyes?” Solemnly, he replies, “I just can't see myself coming to work...so I'm going fishing instead.”

Digging for Bait

Little Eddie and his mom were digging for fishing bait in their garden. Unearthing a many-legged creature, Eddie proudly dangled it before his mom. “No, honey, it won't do for bait,” she said. “It's not an earthworm.” Eddie asks, “It's not? What planet is it from?”

Bumper Stickers

Kids who HUNT, TRAP and FISH

Don't Mug Old Ladies

OCFD (and beside these letters is a long FISH)

Obsessive Compulsive Fishing Disorder

Merle Baird-Kerr...written October 18, 2014

Comments are welcome...e-mail to:

inezkate@gmail.com or mbairdkerr@cogeco.ca

Josh Garrick

Ex-Drug Dealer Turns Over 'A New Leaf' as a Hard-Working Farmer,

Market Vendor and Mentor

Ever heard of him? Neither had I...until I read a true story written by Molly Hayes and published in The Hamilton Spectator April 16, 2015. Heroes are not always people with recognized names. Recently, I noticed a couple TV commercials depicting a mother hugging her daughter and father hugging his son about an achievement. The message given by each was, “I may not be your hero...but I Am His/Hers!”

“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength

to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.”

(Christopher Reeve)

Josh Garrick figured he'd be dead by now...or at the very least, back in jail. If you'd asked him 10, even 5 years ago, he'd have said the last place he expected to be at age 28 was on a farm. “Things work out funny like that,” he says, as he trudges through the mud at A New Leaf Farm in Mount Hope...a few kilometres south of Hamilton. There's lots to do: the soil in the garden needs turning...and there are eggs to be collected. His first stop is the pig pen...the fence is still busted after the pigs broke out last week. “Redneck innovation,” he laughs, yelling over the chorus of chickens, ducks, guinea hens and turkeys roaming the grass.

Garrick first moved to his family's Chippewa Road West farm when he was 13. His mom, Cathy Ozols, had grown up there, back when it was Queensland dairy farm...and bought it after her father's death so it would stay in the family. She was happy to get Josh out of the city! “We moved him to keep him out of trouble...ha!” she says. “It didn't work,” she says. He hated country life and at age 16 he moved out...back to downtown Hamilton and then to London, Ontario, where at the top of his game, he was wholesaling cocaine and OxyContin...a 'business' where he saw more than one friend killed and found himself in and out of jail.

But when he got out of jail for the last time three years ago at age 25, he decided he was done getting into trouble. “I went crazy. This farm...saved my life,” Garrick says. He didn't have a choice at first. His mom had bailed him out and he had to live with her there as part of his release conditions. But, committed to learning the ropes, he did an internship at a farm in Plantagenet, Ontario that his mom says was visibly 'life-changing.'

Before he went to jail that last time, he'd enrolled in 'Business Administration' at Mohawk College where he came up with a business plan for a farm as part of a school project...however, he was arrested before he could finish the program. But as he sat in a jail cell, he thought more about it. He even came up with a new name for the family farm: A New Leaf Farm.

“This was my new leaf,” he explained, waving at the 97 acres surrounding him...and he hoped it could be for others too. “Not just criminals, just anyone who's having a rough time...there's only so much to do here, but if we can afford to take someone on, it's a perfect place to relax and your head straight.”

He's not making nearly the same money he did selling drugs.

“I'm looking to find peace ~ more than I'm looking for money.”

Last year, a guy Josh knew who'd been having some trouble, came to work at the farm in exchange for a place to stay. And a student from Mohawk worked there for a summer while dealing with depression.

“When I moved back to the farm I always, in the back of my head, had thought, 'Oh maybe we'll run a camp or something'...we are so blessed to have this place that we need to share it. David Lane, executive director of Hamilton's John Howard Society applauds the idea of helping those in need of a second chance...who believes that's a good initiative, no matter what scale it's on.

This year, the farm has been a refuge for Christina Adkin-Smithers and her three boys. “All my boys have a form of autism. There are very few places we get to go where we are invited back a second time,” she says. But 'A New Leaf' was one of those places...and this summer, her family has partnered with Josh's family to run the gardens: sharing the earnings they bring in from farmers' markets. On Monday, she smiles as Josh shows Jacob,18 and Billy, 20 how to throw down hay for the pigs and move cattle. “I don't care what your past is,” she says. Josh has a good heart...my son has had a full-on freakout and Josh still asks, “So, when are you coming back next?”

Selling their produce at the markets is one of Garrick's favourite parts of being a farmer ~ though even he laughs at the idea of an ex-con selling homemade preserves at the Ancaster Farmers' Market.

He's a big guy, with big tattoos ~ when his head's shaved you can see the literal scars from his past, he says. He's open with customers about his story and says people have been nothing but supportive. He also volunteers with Liberty for Youth as a mentor for at-risk-youth ~ a program he, himself utilized just a few years ago.

Executive Director, Frederick Dryden praises Garrick for his turnaround and for sticking around to help other kids. He also praises Cathy Ozols, his mom, for being so committed to seeing her son succeed.

“It was an amazing journey to see him evolve and embrace

a whole different way of life,” she says.

“I look at him now when he's all dressed up in his farming gear

and I see my dad. Even in the way he moves and the way he talks.

It's very cool!”

* * * * * * *

Josh Garrick truly is an Unsung Hero!

A sizeable colour photo taken by Barry Gray shows Josh, donned with farm boots, t-shirt, knee length red and block shorts...his white cap tipped off his head onto the farm field as he strongly rope-tugs an unwilling Butterfly, a Jersey brown cow, who obstinately refuses to move into an outdoor enclosure.

A second black and white shot pictures Josh providing water for his pigs inside a fenced enclosure.

The final black and white 'says it all'!

Our handsome young farmer, smiling with great pleasure ~

holding an affectionate kid (baby goat) as it nuzzles his face.

A farmer is a man...outstanding in his field.

(an old cliché)

                                               Merle Baird-Kerr...written April 17, 2015

To comment...email: inezkate@gmail.com or mbairdkerr@cogeco.ca

Anger Behaviour

With Joel Osteen's words, I fully agree. “Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you're doing when you indulge these negative emotions, is giving something outside yourself POWER over your happiness! You can choose to not let little things upset you.” Even a child with temper tantrums must understand and learn that these actions are not conducive to obtaining what he wants. If this behaviour 'works' for him/her, then tantrums become a practised habit!

Seeing Red

(excerpted from an article by Joanne Richard ~ Postmedia Network)

WTF...dude? Why is everyone so mad?

Modern life is making us super angry, says Sandi Mann, a psychological lecturer who has written extensively on anger issues and we're losing it on trivial annoyances. Inconveniences send us off the deep end ~ traffic, lineups, self-checkout machines and Internet disruptions. Our annoyances are bottomless. Drivers talking on their cellphones rate as a top annoyance with Canadians, reports a recent Autotrader.ca study, along with slow drivers, speeders and bad parkers.

We often seem to act like toddlers, expecting the world to revolve around us and for us to get what we want it. When life does not perform like that, like toddlers, we stamp our feet in rage. We are more stressed than ever before and also we have higher 'expectations' that things should go well.

When people are filled with negative feelings, they are ready to do battle at the drop of a hat, not to mention a word or a look. Something small is only the trigger to all the bottled-up negative emotions recycled for a temporary relief ~ aka 'lashing out'. It all comes down to an emotional pain or hurt that has been bottled up and not dealt with, so it turns into anger, even explosive! If the person learned early in life how to deal with their pain as they experienced it, and expressed their anger appropriately at the time when they felt hurt...they will feel free. Unfortunately, people never learn the skills to deal with their emotions. For many, it`s easier to do nothing!

Anger, the most commonly suppressed emotion, is not inherently bad ~ it has evolutionary value and it is potentially a motivating, positive force. It is only bad when we have too much of it or express it inappropriately. Channelling anger is the best way to use it to advantage ~ for example, do something positive to change things.

“The strong person is not the good wrestler;

Rather, the strong person is the one who controls himself when he is angry.”

(Sahih al-Bukhari)

Road Rage: It happened a few years ago when I turned south on Walker's Line with plenty of space before the down-bound traffic approached. Evident was the fact that a 30-something-aged woman was passing this line of vehicles and speeding. Feeling that I had intercepted 'her lane', she hurriedly passed on my left...cut in front of me...coming to an abrupt stop in front my vehicle. She immediately opened her car door, leaving it open (against the down-bound traffic)...marched back to me...and with fists pounding on my window, yelled “Open it! Open it!” Calmly I sat there, ignoring her demand. As a last resort, she hustled to her car, retrieved pen and paper and copied my licence plate number! Yelled at me again...then with no response, she took off!

Anger is never without a reason, but seldom without a good one.

(BenjaminFranklin) 

Papelbon Done After Fight With Harper: Washington National`s closer, Jonathan Papelbon will miss the rest of the season after his dugout fight with teammate, Bryce Harper...4 games because of a team suspension for that episode and 3 games because he dropped his appeal to a Major League Baseball ban for throwing at an opponent`s head the previous week.

On Sunday, after Harper (a leading National League MVP contender) flied out in the 8^th inning against Philadelphia, he headed to the dugout where he and Papelbon exchanged words. The argument escalated and Papelbon reached out with his left hand and grabbed Harper by the throat. Papelbon then shoved the outfielder toward the bench with both hands before teammates and coaching staff pulled the pair apart. The National`s General Manager, Mike Rozzo called what Papelbon did “not acceptable” and “not in line with the way our players are expected to conduct themselves.”

Shoplifter Rage: Jadwiga Bajzert is a 60-year-old church lady with a bad temper. That 'anger management issue' landed her in provincial court Wednesday (September 30^th) is a case best described as 'shoplifter rage'. Court was told that in March of 2014, Bajzert was observed stuffing her purse with bread, bacon and sausage at the Starksky Fine Foods on Queenston Road. That was bad enough, but things took a turn to nasty when the store's 'loss-prevention-officer' confronted her in front of the store. The said officer in court, stated she had a gun and would shoot him...then bit the officer's left hand and kicked him. When he tried to prevent her from fleeing in her Chevrolet Impala, she put the car in reverse with the driver's door open and aggressively backed up, knocking the loss-prevention officer to the ground (who wasn't seriously hurt). He got a photo of the licence plate as she was last seen driving north on Nash Road. She was arrested at her home in Stoney Creek.

A teary-eyed, remorseful Bajzert, accompanied by her husband, pleaded guilty to theft under $5,000 and assault. Court also learned that when she was on bail she stole a $60 bottle of whiskey from the LCBO on Highway 8 in July...also pleading guilty to that theft.

Ontario Court Justice Timothy Culver agreed to a joint submission that saw the Polish native and Canadian citizen sentenced to the seven days of pretrial custody (she had served previously), along with 18 months of probation and 40 hours of community service. She was ordered to seek “Anger Management” counselling. Justice Culver had a warning for her:

“If this keeps up, you're going to face a period of incarceration

and it won't be for a short time. You can't keep doing this!

Get some counselling for your anger...or you won't enjoy the experience

next time you come to court!”

(as reported by Ken Peters to the Hamilton Spectator)

``In controversy, the instant we feel anger, we have already ceased

striving for the truth and begun striving for ourselves. (Buddha)

How to Cope:

DON`T GED MAD...GET EVEN TEMPERED!

Expert Sandi Mann suggests:

Slow your breathing down.

Use self-talk...for example...will this matter to me in 5 years?

Lower your expectations...life is not perfect.

Expect things to go wrong sometimes.

Be kind to people.

When these fail...get 'anger management' counselling!

Merle Baird-Kerr...written October 1, 2015

Comments are welcome...email:

inezkate@gmail.com or mbairdkerr@cogeco.ca

Blue? You Don't Like That Blue?

A few days ago, the Hamilton Spectator
published a story about Stephanie and Terrence White
who purchased a crumbling brink house in Hamilton's west end.
Repairs got made...and the exterior painting began.
Blue...brilliant blue, covering a large portion of the front facade,
along with the eave troughs.
(Photo and story written by Paul Wilson)

The article intrigued me...and I was strongly motivated to send my comments to a section in the Spec called... “Reader's Write”... located on the editorial page. Daily, such letters are selected and possibly printed in this column. Impressed I was to my son's response and others who sent me their views.

Don't Like That Blue? It's Up to You!

Hurray to Stephanie and Terrence White...for 'fixing up their house' at Main and Strathcona Streets.
Built circa 1919, it stalwartly stands along with other 3 storey homes as speeding four and five eastward bound traffic passes by.

BLUE? It's a fantastic colour! According to charts, blue signifies inner confidence and promotes physical and mental relaxation. It is Nature's colour of water and sky. The so-called 'California Blue' selected by the owner is not too dissimilar to the 'electric blue' in newly manufactured vehicles displayed in showrooms and driven on our streets. It tears me every time I see this colour!

A neighbour commented to Stephanie, “That's not the colour, is it? It doesn't fit in with the street. How rude!” This is a stayed-old concept! Are we to remain with old traditions? Raise our children the way we were in the last generation? Use the same old appliances (whether kitchen or workshop) that our parents used? Drive the same old vehicle that granddad drove? WAKE UP! Get with the NEW! Be innovative...start a new trend! Perhaps now, Stephanie nad Terrence will inspire their locale to become a 'trendy neighbourhood'!

Consider homes in Bermuda, in the Caribbean, Mexico and South America...their homes ranging from pastels to brilliants. How delightful to view these properties! Even in Grimsby, there are several blocks of quaint little houses refinished with gingerbread trim and colourfully painted located not far from the lake.! Go find... and have a look. You'll love them.

Back in my real estate days, selling new homes for a builder in Brant Hills, Mattwood Homes built me a house on the last remaining lot. Observing that most previous buyers selected the exteriors of 'earth tones', I was left with my option of colours. I chose a silver-grey brick; shutters on both front and rear windows were painted a deep wedgewood Blue... along with the front door. It was impressive... the neighbours were pleased, and so was I.

My son and I have long had a cliche:
He would remark, “Mom, I know why you bought that!”
I always asked, “Why?”
He always responded, “Because it was different!”
Yes, it was unique, would be my reply.

I am so anxious to drive into downtown Hamilton to see this “California Blue” edifice. It will certainly brighten my day!

I love life. There's so much to learn and see all the time;
and nothing is nicer than to wake up... and the sky is Blue!
(Patti Boyd)

Comments from my son: At the University of Windsor bookstore, they had a rack of novelty posters. I often flipped through them, but never found one that intrigued me sufficiently to buy. But I did see one that was interesting. It showed a bird's-eye view of a residential neighbourhood in the evening: some winding streets and a cul-de-sac... all of the houses looked exactly the same... with exactly the same grey roof. But this one house had the roof painted in psychedelic swirls of pink. However, the paint work was not quite finished, for you saw the ladder and the paint cans... and down in the front yard, the owner was being taken away by the police. Yes, he wanted to be a bit different!

Now, one may argue a certain spectrum of distinction... where obviously, this place had a 'very low tolerance'. Some people like to make their property so radically distinctive that it is an eye-sore.

I remember seeing a neighbourhood along the north side of the QEW in Grimsby where all the houses were painted in pastel colours... and it did look rather picturesque.

Comment from Dilu: I am so glad that you agree with me since I recently had my kitchen painted in a soft blue. I love it, first thing in the morning. It refreshes me... and makes my day a bright one... regardless of what the weather is outside! I look good dressed in Blue... and it makes me smile and chuckle. I love it!

“If the sight of Blue skies fills you with joy...
if a blade of grass springing up in the fields has power to move you...
if the simple things in nature have a message you understand...
REJOICE...for your soul is alive!
(Eleanor Duse ~ Italian actress)

Compiled by Merle Baird-Kerr... April 7, 2016Comments appreciated... email... inezkate@gmail.com or mbairdkerr@cogeco.ca

Taxes 60 Years Ago???

From the cartoon, “Hi and Lois”,

Hiram, the hubby is sitting at his desk, reading the morning paper; in the next frame, he has opened his computer...but on second thought, he goes for a walk on a spring morning, whistling a happy tune.

Returning home, he enjoys a cup of hot coffee in his favourite 'Dad' mug. Oh, yes...time to putt a few balls from his living room rug, then reclines on sofa, his head on a soft pillow, for a short nap! His wife Lois, who has been sorting through the box for 2015 receipts, turns to Hiram, who has now 'crashed' into his favourite chair (with family dog asleep at his feet) and contemplating, asks, “When are you going to start working on these taxes?” Hi replies, “As soon as I finish procrastinating.”

Send it Around Canada

(submitted to me by Tom, a long time 'reader')

Tax his land,

Tax his bed,

Tax the table

at which he's fed!

Tax his work,

Tax his pay,

He works for peanuts

Anyway!

Tax his cow,

Tax his goat,

Tax his pants,

Tax his coat!

Tax his tobacco,

Tax his drink,

Tax him if he

Tries to think!

Tax his car,

Tax his gas.

Find other ways

to tax his ass!

Tax all he has,

Then let him know

That you won't be done

Till he has no dough!

When he screams and hollers;

Then tax him some more.

Tax him till

He's good and sore!

Then tax his coffin,

Tax his grave,

Tax the sod in

Which he's laid.

When he's gone,

Do not relax;

It's time to apply

The inheritance tax.

Accounts Receivable Tax

Airline Surcharge Tax

Airline Fuel Tax

Airport Maintenance Tax

Building Permit Tax

Cigarette Tax

Corporate Income Tax

Death Tax

Dog Licence Tax

Driving Permit Tax

Environmental Tax (Fee)

Excise Taxes

Federal Income Tax

Federal Unemployment (UI)

Fishing Licence Tax

Food Licence Tax

Gasoline Tax (too much per litre)

Gross Receipts Tax

Health Tax

Hunging Licence Tax

Hydro Tax

Inheritance Tax

Interest Tax

Liquor tax

Luxury Taxes

Marriage Licence Tax

Medicare Tax

Mortgage Tax

Personal Income Tax

Property Tax

Poverty Tax

Prescription Drug Tax

Provincial Income & Sales Tax

Real Estate Tax

Recreational Vehicle Tax

Retail Sales Tax

Service Charge Tax

School Tax

Telephone Federal, Provincial & Local Surcharge

Vehicle Licence Registration Tax

Vehicle Sales Tax

Water Tax

Watercraft Registration Tax

Well Permit Tax

Workers Compensation Tax.

THINK THIS IS FUNNY? Not one of these taxes existed 60 years ago...and our nation was one of the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely 'No National Debt'...had a large middle class...and Mom stayed home to raise the kids!

What in the H___ happened? Can you spell “Politicians”?

I hope this goes around Canada 100 times more...

You can help to get it there!

Merle Baird-Kerr...written April 11, 2016

Comments appreciated: email inezkate@gmail.com or mbairdkerr@cogeco.ca

"Tax Returns"

Oh, you got your income tax return?

Please spend it as quickly as possible so I can hear your complaint

about how broke you are!

(anonymous)

Sometime this year,

we taxpayers will again receive another “Economic Stimulus” payment.
This is indeed a very exciting US program and I'll explain it using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to tax payers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?

A. From Taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating

the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?

A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the country's economy

by spending your 'stimulus cheque' wisely:

If you spend the 'stimulus money' at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.

If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan or China.

If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala...

If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.

If you pay your credit cards off...or buy stock...it will go to management bonuses...and they will keep it offshore.

Instead, Keep the Money in North America by:

Spending it at yard sales...going to ball games...spending it on prostitutes, beer or tattoos! These are the only businesses still operating successfully today.

 Conclusion: Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute

that you met at a yard sale...and drink beer all day!

(My thanks to Tom for the foregoing)

Merle Baird-Kerr...penned April 9, 2016

To comment, email  inezkate@gmail.com  or  mbairdkerr@cogeco.ca

Water ~ Important for Our Health

Published in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, Lori Nickel wrote:

“I don't know if it's just me, but when the snow is falling and the wind is howling,

the last thing I want is another tall glass of water.

If I'm fatigued, the nutritionist says I need more water.

If I'm sore from a workout, the trainer says I need more water.

If my skin is dry, the woman behind the cosmetic counter asks me if I'm getting enough water.

If I have a migraine, the doctor says I should make sure I am drinking enough water.

There's so much water on my brain, I barely make it through my morning boot camp jumping jacks.”

Physician Nick Yphantides, medical editor for the national weight loss organization TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) explains why water is so important. The ideal daily water consumption is based on a variety of factors including your age...health status...the weather...where you live...and how physically active you are. I have always told my patients that an ideal target for men is 3 litres (approximately 13 cups ) and for women 2.2 litres (9 cups).

I asked him, “What if I'm tired of drinking so much water? It can get boring. Can anything be subbed out for water?” Dr. Yphantides replied, “There are a host of flavoured waters available: sparkling waters, dilute juices, waters with various fruits added to them and other non caffeinated fluid alternatives. Personally, my favourites are sparkling waters or water in which I have added some fruit for subtle flavouring.”

Healthy Flavoured Water Refreshers

(Thanks Tom for the following:)

Nothing beats drinking water ~ nature's clear and refreshing gift to our body.

Note: Almost every flavoured water bottle you purchase contains 6 tsp. of sugar

and roughly the same amount of calories you'll find in a can or bottle of Coke...

(calculated at 8 tsp. sugar!)

Making flavoured water is easy:

Cut the ingredients, whether cucumber, lemon, orange, grapefruit, to about one inch in size.

Put them in a pitcher or a jar with water and leave them in the refrigerator overnight.

If you want to speed things up, use a fork to make holes in the ingredients to get the flavours out.

The 'fruit-to-water' ratio should be about 1 cup of fruit per litre (34 oz).

You can add a little sugar or honey, if you want...and use soda water if you're in a 'fizzy mood'.

Pineapple and Mint ~ Calms the digestive system

Cherries and Lime ~ Improve the quality of sleep

Watermelon and Rosemary ~ Better blood flow

Orange, Pineapple and Ginger ~ Treat dehydration

Celery, Lime and Grapes ~ Suppress hunger pangs

Rose Water and Mint ~ Stress relief

Pear, Ginger, Vanilla and Cinnamon ~ Prevent calcium deficiency

Melon and Cucumber ~ Headache prevention

Orange, Chia and Cinnamon ~ Joint pain relief

Body Organs Discuss Colonoscopy

Recently, I posted an article...Pulitzer Colonscopy

which many of you discovered to be the humourous truth.

Sent to me by Jeanne, the following comes with a moral.

All the organs of the body were having a meeting trying to decide who was the one in charge.

“I should be in charge,” said the brain, “because I run all the body's systems...so without me, nothing would happen!”

“I should be in charge,” said the blood “because I circulate oxygen all over, so without me, you'd all waste away!”

“I should be in charge,” said the stomach, “because I process food and give all of you energy!”

“I should be in charge,” said the legs, “because I carry the body wherever it needs to go!”

“I should be in charge,” said the eyes, “because I allow the body to see where it goes!”

“I should be in charge,” said the rectum,”because I'm responsible for waste removal!”

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him...so in a huff, he shut down tight!!!

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache...the stomach was bloated...the legs got wobbly...the eyes got watery...and the blood was toxic!

They all decided that the rectum should be the boss!

The Moral of the story:

Even though the others do all the work,

the 'bottom' man is usually in charge!

If you don't send this to at least 4 people...Who Gives a Poop!

Merle Baird-Kerr...compiled April 4, 2016

To comment, email to: inezkate@gmail.com or mbairdkerr@cogeco.ca

Nova Scotia

This province is one of Canada's most scenic...bordering the Atlantic Ocean and the Bay of Fundy. The “Lighthouse Route” is spectacular extending from Nova Scotia's capital city, Halifax, to Yarmouth on its southern tip...thousands of tourists yearly visit the province's marine beauty, the stalwart lighthouse perched on roughly hewn rocks and the ruggedness of Peggy Cove’s fishing village; further along the coast is Lunenberg ~ a Unesco World Heritage Site and home of “The Bluenose”. Rounding the peninsula-shape past Yarmouth and along the Bay of Fundy is Digby, the 'capital scallop' of the world!

Halifax hosts a population of 403,000 people ~ the largest city population east of Quebec City.

The Cunard Steamship Line was founded in Halifax in 1840.

The Halifax Citadel National Museum Site is the most visited National Historic Site in Canada.

Steeped in history and culture, Halifax revolves around the sea and for over 30 years, cruise passengers have come ashore to enjoy all that our province has to offer. The world’s largest shipping lines call on the Port of Halifax, connecting the port to more than 150 countries. This lively seaport is an arts and cultural waterfront district enjoyed by local residents and visitors.

There are more pubs per capita in Halifax than any other city in Canada.

Sydney Crosby, professional ice hockey player was born on August 7, 1987 in Cole Harbour, N.S.

Nova Scotia is also home to many well-known musicians…Anne Murray, Rita MacNeil, the Rankin Family, Ashley MacIsaac, Holly Cole, Sarah McLachlan.

Actors: Ellen Page, Holly Taylor, John Reardon, Peter Donat…and many more.

Alexander Graham Bell…(scientist and inventor)…etcetera.

Bay of Fundy

Canada's “Natural Wonder” is home to the most extreme tidal environment on Earth. The highest tides in the world are found here within the Bay's “Minas Basin”. Every 12.5 hours, 160 billion tons of water flow in and out of the Bay of Fundy ~ enough to fill the Grand Canyon. At its peak, the Fundy tide can reach as high as a 5-storey building. When the tide is out, it’s a unique and phenomenal opportunity to walk “on the ocean floor”. Signs are posted re the tide times…for visitors' safety.

Cape Breton…Drive of a Lifetime

With its self-tanged fishing villages and mountainous interior cloaked in dense woods, Cape Breton is the prize of Nova Scotia ~ a green get-away splashed with lakes and lapped by the blue waters of the Gulf of St. Lawrence and the Atlantic Ocean. Besides the natural beauty to be found here, the Cabot Trail immerses you in the still vibrant Gaelic and Acadian cultures of Cape Breton.

(I comment here that twice I’ve driven this scenic treasure and was totally enthralled with its natural beauty carved by nature. At the top end of the Cabot Trail, we discovered a narrow country road that curled and curved through rural hamlets and coast until we reached what one might consider “heaven” …where the Atlantic Ocean meets the Gulf of St. Lawrence. The waters were navy-blue rough…the view was forever…and we were totally alone standing atop the rugged cliff with wild winds blowing through our hair.)

Nova Scotia’s Provincial Flower: Mayflower. Bird: Osprey. Tree: Red Spruce.

Slogan: “One defends and the other conquers.”

Nicknames: The Seaboard Coast, Canada’s Ocean Playground, the Bluenose Province.

“You know you live in Cape Breton when:

Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway;

And when “Vacation” means going to Halifax for the weekend.”

(Author Unknown)

Nova Scotian Humour

Three Canadian men were travelling in the USA and happened to meet at a bar in New York City. One man was from Toronto, one from Montreal and one from Nova Scotia. They got acquainted and started talking about their problems with their wives. The guy from Toronto began by saying, “I told my wife in no uncertain terms that from now on she would have to do her own cooking. Well ~ the first day after I told her, I saw nothing…second day I saw nothing. The third day when I came home from work, the table was set, a wonderful dinner was prepared with wine and even dessert. Then the man from Montreal spoke up: “I sat moi wife down and tellsted her, dat from now she hav’ to do her own shoppin’, also da cleanin’. Da first day I sees nothin’. Da second day I sees nothin’. But on the turd day when I comes home, the whole house was spotless and in the pantry da shelves were filled with da groceries.” The fellow from Nova Scotia, married to a woman from Cape Breton, sat up straight on the bar stool, pushed out his chest and said, “I gave my wife a stern look and told her, that from now on she would have to do the cooking, shopping and housecleaning. “Well ~ the first day I saw nothing… second day I saw nothing…. on the third day, I could see a little bit out of my left eye.”

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world. So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Vancouver (and work his way across the country from west to east). In the first church, taking photographs, he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read, “$10,000 per call”. Intrigued, he asked the priest about it who replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God. The American thanked the priest, and next stopped in Calgary. There in a large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. A nearby nun told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God. “OK, thank you,” said the American. He then travelled to Edmonton, Saskatoon, Regina, Winnipeg, Toronto, Ottawa and Montreal...and in every church he saw the same golden telephone and message.

Finally, he arrived in Halifax...but this time the message read “10 cents per call.” The priest smiled and answered the puzzled American, “You’re in the Maritimes now son, it’s a local call.”

While shopping at a mall in Yarmouth, a man and his wife go separate ways.

The husband then realizes that his wife has been gone for several hours. So, he decides to sit by a beautiful woman on the mall bench. He smiled and said, “Talk with me…Quick!” She asked, “Why?”

“Because every time I’m talking to a beautiful woman, my wife appears.”

Merle Baird-Kerr…written October 16, 2014

To comment…e-mail:

inezkate@gmail.com...or mbairdkerr@cogeco.ca