Aging...by Julie Andrews
To commemorate her birthday (and turning 79 in 2016) Julie Andrews...actress/vocalist...made a rare appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was “My Favourite Things” from the legendary movie, Sound of Music.
Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting...Walkers and handrails & new dental fittings...Bundles of magazines tied up in string...These are a few of my favourite things!
Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses...Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses...Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings...These are a few of my favourite things!
When the pipes leak...When the bones creak...When the knees go bad...I simply remember my favourite things...And then, I don't feel so bad!
Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions...No spicy food or food cooked with onions...Bath robes and heat pads and hot meals they bring...These are a few of my favourite things!
Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin'...Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin'...and we won't mention our short shrunken frames...When we remember our favourite things!
When the joints ache...When the hips break...When the eyes grow dim...Then I remember the great life I've had...And then, I don't feel so bad!
Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd
that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores.
A Senior and the Store Clerk
A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food. She picked up 3 cans and took them to the check-out counter. The girl cashier stated, “I'm sorry, but we cannot sell cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of people buy cat food to eat...and the management wants proof that you are buying food for your cat.” The lady went home...picked up her white Persian cat...and brought her back to the store. They sold her the cat food.
The next day, she tried to buy 2 cans of dog food (Pedigree, it was called). Again, the cashier said, “I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you dog food without proof that you have a dog. A lot of people buy dog food to eat, but the management wants proof that you are buying the dog food for your dog.” So, she went home and brought in her large black and tan boxer. She was then able to buy the dog food.
The next day, she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier responded, “NO...you might have a snake in there!” The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. Trusting her, the cashier put her finger in the box...and quickly pulled it out. She said to the little old lady, “That smells like shit!” The little old lady replied, “It is! I wanted to buy a roll of toilet paper!!!”
DON'T MESS WITH US OLD PEOPLE!
A Teddy Bear's Worth
(with thanks to Jeanne)
Hours after his birth, Breeze was found stumbling around by the farmer. The new-born foal had been abandoned by his mother...so the farmer took him to the Devon-based-Mare and Foal Sanctuary where they cared for him. What happened next is heart-warming. One of the the staff put a 4-foot giant Teddy Bear called 'Buttons' into the stall with Breeze.
The foal was instantly attracted to him. He had found a comforting replacement for his mother. The two now are inseparable...Breeze cuddling and sleeping on the teddy bear's lap.
The care-givers expect Breeze to be fine...thanks to the farmer who rescued him and to those who cared enough to take in this little Cutie. Special thanks to Buttons.
Words of Wisdom
Every experience is a lesson...every loss a gain.
(Roman Catholic Nun)
It is said that 'Love is Blind'...but 'Friendship is Clairvoyant.'
Compiled by Merle Baird-Kerr...July 25, 2016