Monday, January 20, 2014

"Life is Like a Bowl of Cherries"

This idiom means that  “life is good and is easy ~ just like a bowl of cherries which are sweet; life is very carefree.”  Sometimes, it produces...aches and pains...yet frequently spiced with sprigs of humour.

Consider the following mini-stories
which Tom has forwarded to me:

I was in the six-item express lane at the store...quietly fuming.  Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward...looked into the cart and asked sweetly, “So which six items would you like to buy?” 
Wouldn't that be great if that happened more often???

Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbour and his wife were told there would be a 45 minute wait for a table.  “Young man, we're both 90 years old,” the husband said.  We may not have 45 minutes.”  They were seated immediately!

The reason politicians try to hard to get re-elected is that they would “hate” to have to make a living   under the laws they have just passed.

All eyes were on the bride as her father escorted her down the aisle.  They reached the alter and the waiting groom.  The bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.  The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly.  As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.

Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

Three friends from the local congregation were asked, “When you're in your casket...and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?”
Artie said, “I would like them to say that I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader and a great family man.”
Eugene commented,”I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made  a huge difference in people's lives.”
Al said, “I'd like them to say, “Look, he's moving!”

Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close to God.  Looking up, he asks the Lord, “What does a million years mean to you?”  The Lord replies, “A minute.”  Smith asks, “And what does a million dollars mean to you?”  The Lord replies, “A penny.”  Smith asks, “Can I have a penny?”  The Lord replies, “In a minute.”

A man goes to see the Rabbi. “Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.”  The Rabbi asked, “What's wrong?” The man replied, “My wife is going to poison me.”  The Rabbi
very surprised by this, asks, “How can that be?”  The man then pleads, “I'm telling you, I'm certain she's going to poison me.  What should I do?”  The Rabbi then offers, “Tell you what.  Let me talk to her; I'll see what I can find out and I'll let  you know.”  A week later, the Rabbi calls the man and says, “I spoke with your wife on the phone for three hours.  You want my advice?”  “Yes,” and the Rabbi replied, “Take the poison!”

Random Facts About Life
(and how would  you respond?)

You would have to walk for seven hours burn off a Super Sized Coke, French Fries and a Big Mac!  (Picture yourself consuming this “ever-so-popular fast food.”)

After 100 years from now, Facebook will have 500,000 accounts of DEAD people.(Who notifies Facebook of their demises???)

If you mouth the word, “colourful” to someone,  it looks like you are saying, “I love you.” (Understand this from a “lip-reader's” interpretation.)

Men have nipples because, as an embryo, everyone is a female...until the Y chromosome kicks in. (Often, I wondered why!)

The lion used in the original MGM movie logo, killed its trainer and 2 assistants the day after the logo was filmed.  (“Looks could kill,” whether human or animal!)

The average cell phone contains more bacteria than a toilet seat.  (WOW...How Startling!!!)

You see your nose at all times...your brain just chooses to ignore it.  (Are we to trust our brain???)

The first man to survive going over Niagara Falls...later died by slipping on an orange peel. (Absurd!)

99% people backspace their whole password when they just mess up one letter.  (Somehow, “simple” over-rides being more practical.)

Jellyfish evaporate in the sun.  They're 98% water.  (Incredible!  No wonder I saw several dead jellyfish along Prince Edward Island's sand beaches.)

When a person cries and the first drops of tears come from the right eye, it's Happiness.  When it's from the left eye, it's Pain.  (A new observation to determine the person's emotional state.)

90% people wet the toothbrush after applying the paste.  (I wet my brush BEFORE applying the paste.)

For a very short period of were the youngest person in the world.  (Every minute of life is significant.)

It would take about 1,000 years to watch every video currently on “YouTube.”  (One can never say he has nothing to do!!!)

Quote by John Wayne
Tomorrow is the most important thing in life.
Comes into us at midnight very clean.

It's perfect when it arrives...and puts itself in our hands.
It hopes, we've learned something from yesterday.

Compiled by Merle Baird-Kerr...December 29, 2013
Comments are most welcome...e-mail to

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