Friday, February 17, 2012

International Humour II

Three Wishes

A Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and an Aussie are all walking together 
one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. “I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total,” says the Genie.

The Canadian farmer says, “I am a farmer and my son will also farm. 
 I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada.” POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming!

Osama was amazed , so he said, “I want a wall around Afghanistan, Palestine, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come into our precious land!” POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries!

The Aussie says, “I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.”
The Genie explains, “Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and 
completely surrounds the countries. Nothing can get in or out. It's virtually impenetrable!” The Aussie sits down on his Harley, cracks a beer, lights a cigarette...smiles and says ... “Fill the sucker with water!”.

The Desert Trek

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand, selling ties.

The Taliban asked, “Do you have water?”

The Jewish man replied, “I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? 
They are only $5.” The Taliban shouted, “Idiot! I do not need an over-priced stupid tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!”

OK,” said the Jewish man, “It does not matter that you do not want to buy 
a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. 
 If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom!”

Cursing, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.

Several hours later, he staggered back...almost dead and said ...
Your idiot brother won't let me in without a tie!”


(Thanks to a personal friend who forwarded the above incidents to me.)

Pearl of Wisdom”
If you can find a path with no obstacles,
it probably doesn't lead anywhere.
(Frank A. Clark)

Merle Baird-Kerr . . . written October 30, 2011
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