Business Humour II

Dead Horse Theory

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians

passed on from generation to generation says that

“When you discover that you are riding a dead horse,

the best strategy is to dismount.”

However, in government, education, and in corporate America

more advanced strategies are often employed...such as:

Buy a stronger whip.

Changing riders.

Appointing a committee to study the horse.

Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.

Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.

Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.

Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.

Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.

Providing additional funding and/or training 

to increase dead horse's performance.

Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve

the dead horse's performance.

Declaring that, as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly,

carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more

to the bottom line of the economy than do other horses.

Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses

and of course...

Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position!

Finkelstein and Jesus

Jesus was wandering around Jerusalem when he decided that he really needed a new robe. After looking around for a while, he saw a sign for Finkelstein, the Tailor.

So he went in and made the necessary arrangements to have Finkelstein prepare a new robe for him. A few days later, when the robe was finished, Jesus tried it on ... and it was a perfect fit! He asked how much he owed.

Finkelstein brushed him off: “No, no, no ...for the Son of God, there's no charge!” However may I ask a small favour? Whenever you give a sermon, perhaps you could just mention that your nice new robe was made by Finkelstein, the Tailor?”

Jesus readily agreed and as promised, extolled the virtues of his Finkelstein robe whenever he spoke to the masses.

A few months later, while Jesus was again walking through Jerusalem, he happened to walk past Finkelstein's shop and noted a huge line of people waiting for Finkelstein's robes.

He pushed his way through the crowd to speak to him and as soon as Finkelstein spotted him, he said, “Jesus, Jesus! Look what you've done
for my business!”

                   “Would you consider a partnership?” he asked.

                   “Certainly,” replied Jesus, “Jesus & Finkelstein, it is.”

                   “Oh, no, no,” said Finkelstein, “Finkelstein and Jesus.

                     After all, I am the craftsman.”

The two of them debated this for some time. Their discussion was long and spirited, but ultimately fruitful ... and they finally came up with a mutually acceptable compromise. 

A few days later, the new sign went up over Finkelstein's shop: Lord and Tailor

(I am grateful to Sol for forwarding “Theory”... “Finkelstein and Jesus”...to me)

Merle Baird-Kerr . . . written October 12, 2011

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