SANTA'S DILEMMAS
When four of Santa's elves got sick,
the 'trainee elves' did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones
and Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her mother was coming to visit
which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer
he found that three of them were about to give birth
and two others had jumped the fence and were out ~
Heaven knows where!
When he began to load the sleigh,
two of the floorboards cracked ~
the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a glass of cider and a shot
of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered
the elves had drunk most of the cider and hidden the rum.
In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug
and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces
all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found mice had eaten all the straw
off the end of the broom.
Just then, the doorbell rang.
An irritated Santa marched to the door...yanked it open...
and there stood a little angel with a big Christmas tree.
The
angel said very cheerfully, Merry
Christmas, Santa
Isn't this a lovely day?
I have a beautiful tree for you ~ where would you like me to place
it?
And so began the tradition
of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Season's
Challenges to Humans
Is it the food we are enticed to eat...and 'pig out' on the sumptuous
turkey, trimming and decadent desserts? Is it the snow we yearn to
see, then find the roads slippery and slidey? Is it the shopping
frenzy and finding parking lots overflownig with umpteen vehicles?
Or is it those humans with CT's and Smart Phones, walking and talking
on their ever-so-necessary constant 'companions'?
Sadly, technology is over-riding our today's society.
Pavlov's
Smartphone:
(an
editorial run in the Charlottetown Guardian)
“Christmas
is a hectic time: bedevilled by great expectations...limited
time...and plenty to get done; many are girding for the three busiest
weeks of the year ~ followed immediately by the inevitable
post-holiday-letdown. But it's also the special time for a little
test that might startle you.
“If
you're in a line at the mall with arms full of potential purchases,
find a way to reach your cellphone...take it out...hold it obviously
in front of you
(you don't even have to turn it on) and look at the people around
you.
As people see you holding your phone, you'll see them take theirs out
too.
The little blue glowing masters of our lives will have their due ~
even if there are no new messages...no tweets...no emails...
nor Instagram messages to be found.
“We're
'conditioned! We're eroding our ability to concentrate on anything
but the shortest of personal communications.We've created a monster
of constant contact. Your cellphone addiction is just one thing that
will ramp up stress of the holiday season.
“
So,
maybe, instead of letting your phone wind you up,
try
putting it down. It's not easy ~ anyone who spends time with a
smartphone
knows
that you get an almost visceral urge to check the darn thing ~
as if its contents are so important that something like the 'meaning
of life'
might be hiding in there. And, maybe, when we actually reach the
real Christmas season,
youl'll be able to find the strength to send a few Christmas messages
~
or put the thing aside altogether.”
Holiday
Season Celebrations
Hanukkah
(beginning December 2 at sundown) is the Hebrew word for Dedication
~ honouring
the victory of the Jews over the Greek Syrians in 165 BC. Hanukkah
is observed over 8 days.
Winter
Solstice,
the beginning of Winter, is the shortest day of the year. Because of
the Earth's tilt, the Northern Hemisphere is far away from the sun as
it can be...falling this year on December 21.
Christmas
Day
(December 25) is a Christian holiday that celebrates Jesus Christ
(although no one knows the exact date of his birth) but in the 4th
century.
Boxing
Day
(December 26) is believed to have started in the Middle Ages,
possibly with the 'giving of Christmas boxes' placed in churches for
charity throughout the Christmas season.
Kwanzaa
(December 26 to January 1) means first
fruit of the harvest in
Swahali, focusing on the traditional African values of family ~
celebrating African-American heritage.
New
Year's Eve
(December 31) is the oldest of all holidays ~ first observed in
ancient Babylon about 4,000 years ago. In 153 BC, the Roman Senate
declared January 1 the beginning of the new year.
My
Taxi Home
(submitted to me from Tom)
“With
Christmas close upon us, I share this personal experience about
'drinking
and driving'.
As
you know, some of us have been known to have brushes
with authorities, often
on the way home after a social event with family or friends. Two
weeks ago this happened to me. I was out for an evening with friends
and had more than several beers ~ followed by a couple bottles of
rather nice red wine and vodka shots. Alhough, relaxed, I still had
common sense to know I was slightly
over the limit.
That's when I did something I've never done before. I took a taxi
home!
“Sure
enough, there was a police block, but since it was a TAXI, they waved
it past ~ and I arrived home safely without incident. This was a
real surprise to me, because I had never driven a taxi before. I
don't know where I got it ~ and now that it sits in my garage, I
don't know what to do with it!
So, anyway, if you want to borrow it ~ give me a call”.
Merry Christmas...Happy New Year...and be Safe out there!
Compiled by Merle Baird-Kerr...December 15, 2018
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