MR. GANDHI TAKES THE
CAKE!
Born
in October 1869, Mahatma Gandhi was educated as a lawyer who later
became the preeminent leader of Indian nationalism in British-ruled
India. Employing non-violent civil disobedience, Gandhi led India to
independence. His profound spirituality and belief in justice
inspired the world. After independence in 1947, he tried to stop the
Hindu-Muslim conflict in Bengal, a policy which led to his
assassination in New Delhi, India in January 1948.
(I
express my gratitude to Dilu for the following true story.)
When
Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, there
was a professor, whose last name was Peters, who felt animosity
toward Gandhi...and because Gandhi never conceded to him in any
disagreement, their “arguments” were very common.
One
day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the dining room of the University
and Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to him. The
professor, in his arrogance, said, “Mr. Gandhi: you do not
understand that a pig and a bird do not sit together to eat,” to
which Gandhi replied, “You do not worry, professor, I'll fly away,”
and he went and sat at another table.
Mr.
Peters, enraged, decided to take revenge on Gandhi on the next test,
but Gandhi responded brilliantly to all questions. Then, Mr. Peters
asked him the the following question, “Mr. Gandhi, if you are
walking down the street and find a package, and within it there is a
bag of wisdom and another bag with a lot of money, which one will you
take?” Without hesitating, Gandhi responded, “The one with the
money, of course.”
Mr.
Peters, smiling said, “I, in your place, would have taken the
wisdom, don't you think?” Gandhi responded indifferently, “Each
one takes what one doesn't have.”
Mr.
Peters, already hysterical, wrote on the exam sheet the word, “Idiot”
and gave it to Gandhi. Gandhi took the exam sheet and sat down. A
few minutes later, Gandhi went to the professor and said, “Mr.
Peters, you signed the sheet, but you did not give me the grade!”
And,
to the foregoing, I say Touche!
“Never
argue with an idiot ~ they'll bring you down to their level and beat
you with their experience!”
“Our
business is infested with idiots who try to impress by using
pretentious jargon.” (David Ogilvy)
Our
Society is Doomed...
Thank You, Carolyn...for the following:
Idiot
Sighting:
I handed the teller at my bank a withdrawal slip for $400. I said,
“May I have large bills, please.” She looked at me and said,
“I'm sorry, Sir, all the bills are the same size.” When I got up
off the floor, I explained it to her...
Idiot
Sighting:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up
our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the
service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock
the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I
instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was
unlocked. “Hey,” I announced to the technician, “It's open!”
His reply, “I know. I already got that side.” This was at the
Ford dealership in Canton, MS.
Idiot
Sighting:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told
us that one of our problems was that we did not have a large enough
motor on the opener. I thought for a minute and told him we had the
largest one Sears made at the time..a one-half horsepower. He shook
his head and said, “Lady, you need a ¼ horse-power.” I
responded that ½ was larger than ¼. He said, “No, it's not.
Four is larger than two!” We haven't used Sears repair since.
Idiot
Sighting:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I
gave the clerk $5. Our total was $4.25, so I handed her a quarter.
She said, “You gave me too much money.” I said, “Yes, I know,
but this way you can just give me a dollar back. She sighed and went
to the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he
handed me back the quarter, saying, “We're sorry but we could not
do that kind of thing.” The clerk proceeded to give me back $1 and
75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
Idiot
Sighting:
At a local Taco Bell food service, I asked the person behind the
counter for “minimal lettuce.” He said he was sorry, but they
only had iceberg lettuce.” This was in Kansas City.
Idiot
Sighting:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport
employee asked, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without
your knowledge?” To which I replied, “If it was without my
knowledge, how would I know?” He smiled knowingly and nodded,
“That's why we ask.” Happened in Birmingham, Ala.
Idiot
Sighting:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who was leaving
the company due to a 'down-sizing', our manager commented cheerfully,
“This is fun. We should do this often.” Not another word was
spoken. We all just looked at each other with that
'deer-at-the-headlights-stare!. This was a lunch at Texas
Instruments.
Idiot
Sighting:
When questioned about baby diapers having brand names such as Luvs
and Huggies,
while undergarments for seniors are called Depends,
we were told, “When babies poop in their pants, people are still
gonna Luv'em
and Hug'em.
When old people poop in their pants, it Depends
who's in the will!
* * * * * * *
Philosophic
Words
One of the most important things, especially when you're leaving
school is to realize that you're going to be dealing with a lot of
idiots. And a lot of those idiots are in charge of things, so if
you're in an interview and you really want to tell that person off,
don't do it! (Lewis Black)
Nothing is more humiliating than to see idiots succeed in
enterprises we have failed in.
(Gustave Flaubert)
However,
Louis
Argon
states, “We
know that the nature of Genius is to provide idiots with ideas 20
years later.”
Merle Baird-Kerr...compiled August 16, 2014
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