Saturday, October 8, 2016

Mr. Gandhi Takes the Cake!


Born in October 1869, Mahatma Gandhi was educated as a lawyer who later became the preeminent leader of Indian nationalism in British-ruled India. Employing non-violent civil disobedience, Gandhi led India to independence. His profound spirituality and belief in justice inspired the world. After independence in 1947, he tried to stop the Hindu-Muslim conflict in Bengal, a policy which led to his assassination in New Delhi, India in January 1948.

(I express my gratitude to Dilu for the following true story.)

When Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, there was a professor, whose last name was Peters, who felt animosity toward Gandhi...and because Gandhi never conceded to him in any disagreement, their “arguments” were very common.

One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the dining room of the University and Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to him. The professor, in his arrogance, said, “Mr. Gandhi: you do not understand that a pig and a bird do not sit together to eat,” to which Gandhi replied, “You do not worry, professor, I'll fly away,” and he went and sat at another table.

Mr. Peters, enraged, decided to take revenge on Gandhi on the next test, but Gandhi responded brilliantly to all questions. Then, Mr. Peters asked him the the following question, “Mr. Gandhi, if you are walking down the street and find a package, and within it there is a bag of wisdom and another bag with a lot of money, which one will you take?” Without hesitating, Gandhi responded, “The one with the money, of course.”

Mr. Peters, smiling said, “I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom, don't you think?” Gandhi responded indifferently, “Each one takes what one doesn't have.”

Mr. Peters, already hysterical, wrote on the exam sheet the word, “Idiot” and gave it to Gandhi. Gandhi took the exam sheet and sat down. A few minutes later, Gandhi went to the professor and said, “Mr. Peters, you signed the sheet, but you did not give me the grade!”

And, to the foregoing, I say Touche!

Never argue with an idiot ~ they'll bring you down to their level and beat you with their experience!”

Our business is infested with idiots who try to impress by using pretentious jargon.” (David Ogilvy)

Our Society is Doomed...
Thank You, Carolyn...for the following:

Idiot Sighting: I handed the teller at my bank a withdrawal slip for $400. I said, “May I have large bills, please.” She looked at me and said, “I'm sorry, Sir, all the bills are the same size.” When I got up off the floor, I explained it to her...

Idiot Sighting: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. “Hey,” I announced to the technician, “It's open!” His reply, “I know. I already got that side.” This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS.

Idiot Sighting: We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a large enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute and told him we had the largest one Sears made at the time..a one-half horsepower. He shook his head and said, “Lady, you need a ¼ horse-power.” I responded that ½ was larger than ¼. He said, “No, it's not. Four is larger than two!” We haven't used Sears repair since.

Idiot Sighting: My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk $5. Our total was $4.25, so I handed her a quarter. She said, “You gave me too much money.” I said, “Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back. She sighed and went to the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, saying, “We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.” The clerk proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

Idiot Sighting: At a local Taco Bell food service, I asked the person behind the counter for “minimal lettuce.” He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.” This was in Kansas City.

Idiot Sighting: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?” To which I replied, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?” He smiled knowingly and nodded, “That's why we ask.” Happened in Birmingham, Ala.

Idiot Sighting: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who was leaving the company due to a 'down-sizing', our manager commented cheerfully, “This is fun. We should do this often.” Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that 'deer-at-the-headlights-stare!. This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

Idiot Sighting: When questioned about baby diapers having brand names such as Luvs and Huggies, while undergarments for seniors are called Depends, we were told, “When babies poop in their pants, people are still gonna Luv'em and Hug'em. When old people poop in their pants, it Depends who's in the will!
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Philosophic Words

One of the most important things, especially when you're leaving school is to realize that you're going to be dealing with a lot of idiots. And a lot of those idiots are in charge of things, so if you're in an interview and you really want to tell that person off, don't do it! (Lewis Black)

Nothing is more humiliating than to see idiots succeed in enterprises we have failed in.
(Gustave Flaubert)

However, Louis Argon states, “We know that the nature of Genius is to provide idiots with ideas 20 years later.”

Merle Baird-Kerr...compiled August 16, 2014
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