Today is a jewel...to set in the heart of honest men,
but careful you do not take the day and leave out the gratitude.
So, once in every year as we throng
Upon a day apart,
To praise the Lord with heart and song
In thankfulness of heart.
(Arthur Guiterman...from The First Thanksgiving)
As we express out gratitude, we must never forget
that the highest appreciation is not to utter words
but to live by them. (John Fitzgerald Kennedy)
The Pregnant Turkey
(Thanks to Tom for this story)
One year at Thanksgiving, my Mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing that my sister is gullible, my Mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left, Mom took the turkey out of the oven...removed the stuffing...then stuffed a small Cornish hen and inserted it in the turkey...and re-stuffed the turkey.
When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird. With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, “Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!” At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister began to cry. It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs. YEP..........SHE'S BLOND!
'Twas the night of Thanksgiving.
But I just couldn't sleep.
I tried counting backwards,
I tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned.
The dark meat and white,
But I fought the temptation
With all of my might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation,
The thought of a snack became infatuation.
So, I raced to the kitchen,flung open the door,
And gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.
Gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling, so plump and so round,
'Til all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.
I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky,
With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie.
But, I managed to yell, as I soared past the trees...
Happy Eating to All ~ Pass the Cranberries, Please.
May your stuffing be tasty.
May your turkey be plump.
May your potatoes 'n gravy have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious.
May your pies take the prize.
May your Thanksgiving Dinner
Stay off of your thighs!!!
“Happy Thanksgiving to All.”
Humour from Erma Brombeck
Thanksgiving Dinners take eighteen hours to prepare.
They are consumed in twelve minutes.
This...is not a coincidence!
Thanksgiving is the Day
men start to get in shape for Santa Claus!
(seen recently on a church sign)
Written by Merle Baird-Kerr...September 24, 2014
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