Tuesday, February 25, 2014

February's Aura

Love is in the Air... recognized for its lyrics, it has been the current month's atmosphere that has been generated by Valentine's Day and Family Day (the latter in Ontario).  Local radio and television stations promoted February as... “Love is on the Air” with music, movies and advertisements.  Romance has been “on a high” with sentimental cards, chocolates, flowers, other gift gestures and perhaps an intimate dinner together with a “love-mate”. February gives us that lovin’ feeling!

Soul Sacrifice

Carlos Santana (age 62) proposed to his drummer on stage.  The guitar legend popped the question to Cindy Blackman (age 50) during a concert in Chicago.  “Cindy and I are blessed to have found each other.  Being in love is a gift from the Universe;  and the spirit and vibrations that come with it...are mighty powerful.”

An invisible thread connects those who were destined to meet
...regardless of the time, place and circumstances.
The thread may stretch or tangle...but it will not break.
(Author Unknown)

Ten Simple Ways to Make a Relationship or Marriage Last

The fundamental rules for human interaction ~ kindness, fairness and respect ~ are taught to us as young children.  Unfortunately, many of these lessons are forgotten (or unlearned) by the time we reach adulthood.  Treating others the way we'd like to be treated seems simple enough...until we have to do it everyday.  Relationships are not “rocket science”, but they do call for the same level of patience and dedication.  Here's a quick refresher on how to treat your mate that helps you go the distance.

Be kind (not nice).  Niceness is one rule that can actually backfire in a romantic relationship.  Some partners can interpret niceness as weakness.  Moreover, niceness is often insincere...being a coping mechanism taught to us as children to help us deal with people we don't really like.  True kindness, by contrast, doesn't condescend or pretend!  Kindness looks to the core-worth of another person and responds accordingly.  Kindness doesn't mean avoiding conflict or even always “playing nice”...it is processing issues with sincere respect for your mate's feelings.

Be sexually generous. When you put your mate's sexual needs first, your own are likely to be satisfied as well.  If your needs continue to be unmet, just don't seethe about it...communicate with him or her.

Be there.  Your presence, both physical and emotional, is critical to the survival of your relationship.  Try to be present in the moment and to be sensitive to your mate's emotional state.  If your job or other obligations routinely keep you away from your mate, take a hard look at your options and determine what is best for your relationship. 

Be grateful.  Before you rush to judge, take a step back and remember what you have in your partner.  Is he or she loyal, considerate or kind?  What flaws of yours does your mate patiently endure?

Be helpful.  You shouldn't be helpful just for the sake of getting what you want.  But you'd be surprised at how often helping your partner out...especially when he or she is stressed...can yield the kind of response you crave most.

Don't over-romanticize.  Drop your delusions and see how much room it frees up for real love.

Don't over-dramatize.  If you are one of those who thrive on drama, you are bound to be disappointed by any healthy relationship.  Where no drama exists, drama addicts will find ways to manufacture it.

Don't nag or nitpick.  You may think your “constructive” criticism or helpful reminders will help mould your mate into  your ideal.  More likely, it will just wear them out.  You may or may not get what you want but you might get resentment. 

Don't lose focus.  We live in a hyper-saturated, hyper-stimulated world.  Beauty is distorted, augmented and air-brushed.  Destructive behaviours are exaggerated  (and glamourized) by “reality” shows.  It seems like everyone is misbehaving and if you aren't, you must be missing out.  But the desire for meaningful relationships is at the core of the human heart.  You can try to take the shortcut to this kind of happiness by responding to every enticement.  Or you can choose to focus on a real relationship...and enjoy the enduring pleasures such a relationship provides.

Don't be selfish.  Selfishness underlies most of our broken relationships ~ and it is a hard habit to break.  It can take many forms:  financial, behavioural, emotional or sexual.  Chronic selfishness can do lasting damage to a relationship.
(The foregoing are excerpts from... twoofus.org.)

Pearls of Wisdom

No matter how old you both get,
never stop holding hands;
never stop dancing;
never stop saying, “I love you.”

Merle Baird-Kerr...scripted February 21, 2014
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