Friday, May 24, 2013

Computer Craze (Part II)

As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as Female as in, “Steady as she goes” or “she's listing to starboard, Captain.” Most hurricanes are given Female that because there are no “hisicanes”? Men, when talking about their pride of vehicle, often will refer to this lovely machine as a Female…being beautiful, sensuous…even temperamental; to others ~ a comfort, security and stylish.

Is Your Computer Male...or...Female?
(I've read this before, yet worth repeating.)

Recently a group of computer scientists (all male) announced that computers should be referred to as being Female.  Their reasons for drawing this conclusion are the following:

No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

The native language they use to communicate with other computers
is incomprehensible to everyone else.

The message,”Bad Command” or “File Name” is about as informative as,
“If you don't know why I'm mad at you, I'm certainly not going to tell you.”

Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term-memory...for later usage.

As soon as you make a commitment, you'll find yourself
spending half your pay cheque on accessories for it.

However, another group of computer scientists (all female) think that the computers should be referred to as Male.  Their reasons are as follows:

They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.

They are supposed to help you solve problems,
but half the time...they ARE the problem.

As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited
 a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.

In order to get their attention, you have to turn them ON!

Big power surges knock them out...for the rest of the day.

Rudyard Kipling stated
A Woman's much more accurate
than a man's guess.
(and with him, readers, I agree)

How Far Can This Computer Craze Go?

Perhaps we've only touched the “rim”, since new technology is constantly being tested and implemented into daily business and everyday life.  Project into the future and today you may say ~ Never!

I thought this might show us the future. I know I haven't kept up with
the current lingo and techie stuff! G.  Enjoy what might be ahead of us:

PASTOR:  “Praise the Lord!”

CONGREGATION:  “Hallelujah!”

PASTOR:  “Can we please turn on our tablet, PC, iPad, smart phone and Kindle Bible to 1 Cor. 13:13.  (This reads, 'and now abide faith, hope and charity, but the greatest of these is charity').
And please switch on your Bluetooth to download the sermon.”

P-a-u-s-e …

Now let us pray, committing this week into God's hands.
Open your Apps, BBM, Twitter and Facebook...and chat with God.

S-i-l-e-n-c-e …

“As we take our Sunday tithes and offerings, please have your credit and debit cards ready.”
“You can log on to the church wi-fi using password 'Lord909887'.”
The ushers will circulate mobile card swipe machines among the worshipers:
Those who prefer to make electronic fund transfers are directed to computers and laptops at the rear of the church.
Those who prefer to use iPads can open them.
Those who prefer telephone banking, take out your cellphones to transfer your contributions to the church account.
The holy atmosphere of the Church becomes truly electrified as ALL the smart phones, i Pads, PC's and laptops beep and flicker!

Final Blessing and Closing Announcements:

This week's ministry cell meetings will be held on the various Facebook group pages where the usual chatting takes place. Thursday's Bible study will be held live on Skype 1900 hrs. GMT. Please don't miss out.  You can follow your Pastor on Twitter this weekend for counselling and prayers. 
 God bless you...and have a nice day. 

(Thanks to an ardent follower...for the foregoing)

Merle Baird-Kerr...crafted April 23, 2013
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