Creation

I Think This is Hilarious!  
 Never heard Creation explained this way before !!!

In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth   with broccoli,  cauliflower and spinach; green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds...so Man and Woman would live long and  healthy lives.

Then, using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's ice cream,   and Krispy Creme donuts.  And Satan said, “You want chocolate with that?”  And Man said, “Yes!”  And  Woman said, “As long as  you're at it, add some sprinkles.”  And they gained 10 pounds.  And Satan smiled.

And God created the  healthful yogurt treat that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.  And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them.  And Woman went from size 6 to 14.

So God said, “Try my fresh green salad.” And Satan presented Thousand-Island dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side.  And  Man and Woman unfastened their  belts following the repast.

God then said, “I have sent you hearty  and healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them.”
And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter.  And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.  God then created a light fluffy, white cake...named it Angel Food Cake and said, “It is Good!”  Satan then created chocolate cake and named it Devil's Food.

God then brought forth running shoes so that  His children might lose those extra  pounds.  And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control  so Man would not have to toil changing stations.  And Man and Woman laughed before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in  fat and brimming with nutrition.  And Satan peeled
off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them.  And Man gained pounds.

God then gave them lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.  And Satan created McDonald's  and its 99 cent double cheeseburger.  Then said, “You want fries with that?”  And Man replied, “Yes! And super-size them!”  And Satan said, “It is Good!”  And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created Cuts to the Health Care System.
Amen!

(If you don't send this to 5 old friends right away,

there will be 5 fewer people laughing in the world.)

Merle Baird-Kerr
June 23, 2011
(from a friend's e-mail to me)