Friday, January 1, 2016

Life on the Front Porch

Food for Thought for this Forthcoming Year!
(with thanks to Tom for this rendition)

On the first day, God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a span of twenty years.” The dog replied, “That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years...and I'll give you back the other ten?”
And God said that it was good.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, “Entertain tricks...and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year span.” The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for twenty years?
That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?”
And God again said that it was good.

On the third day, God created the cow and said, “You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun...have calves...and give milk to the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.” The cow considered and said, “That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?”
And God agreed it was good.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, “ enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.” But the human replied, “Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?”
God reconsidered, “Okay, you asked for it!”

So that is why for our first 20 years...we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.
For the next 40 years, we slave in the sun to support our family.
For the next 10 years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.
And for the last 10 years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you!
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.
I'm doing it as a public service
If you are looking for me...I will be on the front porch!

Michael Josephson Writes:
The New Year will bring new challenges.
Whether we seize them or not...this year will bring you new opportunities.

A New Year is like a blank book ~ the pen is in your hands.
It is your chance to write a beautiful story for yourself in 2016.
(Author Unknown)

Notable News to Commence the New Year!

Burlington Man Completes Solo Row Across the Pacific Ocean! John Beedon, a 53-year old covered 7,400 nautical miles in 209 days (which he originally planned to accomplish in 180 days). He made landfall Sunday, December 27, 2015 to become the first man to row solo non-stop from North America to Australia. His journey started in June from San Francisco. “Every day, there was some massive challenge ~ being much harder than anticipated. I'm exhausted, heat and humidity...horrible!” he twitted to his family on Christmas Day...just hours before Australia came into sight.

Drunk Driver Tires to Hide in Nativity Scene! The Washington Post reported that the Tadcaster, England, tableau had all the necessary components of a good Nativity scene...infant Christ...Mary and Joseph...three wise animals resting on a bed of straw. It was the suspected drunk driver who seemed out of place. The North Yorkshire Police Roads Policing Group said that a man attempted to hide from police in a nearby Nativity scene after crashing his car into a metal barrier. The man, easily distinguishable from the rest of the characters in the creche by virtue of not being an animate object ~ was apprehended and administered a breathalyzer test, which he failed.

People's Cauldron Coming to Waterfront (reported by Joel Ophart, The Hamilton Spectator). Arcelor Mittal Dofasco announed Tuesday, it was working with the city to bring the three-metre pinecone-inspired artwork (for which Dofasco supplied all the steel to the city). Mayor Eisenberger said in a statement featured on Dofasco's blog that “the legacy of the Pan Am Games will be preserved for future generations with the cauldron located on the waterfront.”

The People's Cauldron is the smaller sibling of the Pan Am Games Cauldron, both of which were lit in the opening ceremonies in Toronto. The smaller one is a third of the size of the 34-tonne version and was only lit temporaritly during the opening ceremonies.
Back in Janauary, Arcelor Mittal Dofasco hosted an event
that brought 300 people from 30 communities together in Hamilton
to take part in the creation of the People's Cauldron.
Each group was asked to create art
representative of their community using pine cones.
Those designs inspired the creation of the 'scales' on the cones of the cauldron.
Creating and building both cauldrons took 18 months and 34 tonnes of steel, 10 types ~ from basic hot rolled sheets to galvalume. This magnificent colourful People's Cauldron will adorn the waterfront.

The difference between perseverence and obstinancy is that
perserverance means a strong will;
obstinancy means a strong 'wont'!

The foregoing compiled by Merle Baird-Kerr...December 29, 2015
Comments or


  1. MEG WRITES: "Thank you for the explanation of God.
    He certainly has a great sense of humour. Loved it!"

  2. It's a lesson to us also, Meg, that life often offers us humour in our everyday events...yet we simply overlook it. Surely is a 'positive' view of what we may be experiencing!

  3. FROM ROSEMARIE: "This is so true, Merle.
    A very, very Happy New Year to you and may the New Year bring everything your heart desires."

  4. When Tom sent me this article, I reserved it to send out on blog for 2016...since it so exemplifies life as it is today.
    God knew what He was accomplishing!