Unfulfilled Dreams

Dream...image(s) occurring during sleep; a visionary concept; usually something extremely pleasant.


We all have hopes and dreams. We all go through lives when we generate ideas of things that we would like to accomplish in life, places we would like to be in the years ahead. It's a natural tendency
to come up with an ideal that we would like to fulfill in our futures.

As a Senior in High School, I had a dream of becoming an “airline stewardess” with Trans Canada...travel intrigued me! Visit our Dominion (of Canada, as it was then known), tour United States, even Europe! To fly in the sky would be a marvel and an exciting career! But, alas, this was a dream I could not, or ever fulfill. Two basic qualifications I could not meet: one had to become a registered nurse (in which I had no interest), and second, I was one inch taller than the maximum height allowed. A Dream I could not pursue! therefore, remaining a fantasy in my life objective.

But what happens when the years go by and those dreams never come to fruition? What happens when we find ourselves, years later in a situation that is so far removed from “our ideal” that we can only think that we have somehow failed, that we haven't accomplished our life's desire? It can be very devastating!

Sometimes we get upset at God for not answering our prayers when we deem it necessary to depend on Him. Sometimes, I'm unable to be happy at the moment because of unfulfilled dreams. I have read that “real peace is internal”, yet others believe that the environment in which they spend their time makes a difference.

When my son attended university, financially it was a struggle. He was accustomed to working part-time jobs during his high school years. The first summer, home from Windsor, he had applied to several positions...but little available...a few days at a wire and cable industry, picking strawberries, etc. Result was insufficient funds to return to university. From the Teachers' Credit Union I took out a substantial loan. The following summers he worked two jobs. His Monday to Friday full time hours, reading hydro meters contributed to his university expenses; evenings and weekends, he delivered pizzas which was his spending money (gas for the car, etc.). The final year, I prayed for monies to support his education expenses. Surely God must understand my necessity, my needs, my years of serving Him through church and Sunday Schools, through choir and music efforts! All this should merit something!!! When no monies were forthcoming, in addition to my Independent Contractor status as a Sales Representative, I worked a secondary job to also support my daughter, still in High School.

It is a known fact that today, many people who have become successful is a result of many failures. Determination, patience and foresight have been the well-worn path to their desired achievements. Getting through the hard times is often been more beneficial (in the long run) than living an idyllic life would have been. Most dreams are available...if we are willing to take the risk and make the sacrifice.

In a church address, by Martin Luther King Jr. in May, 1968 Atlanta, Georgia, he spoke about Unfulfilled Dreams. Following are a few excerpts.
“My text is taken from the eighth chapter of the First Kings. David, as you know, was a great King. And the one thing that was foremost in David's mind and in his heart was to build a great temple. The building of the temple was considered to be the most significant thing facing the Hebrew people, and the King was expected to bring this into being. David had the desire; he started! The passage reads, 'And it was in the heart of David, my father to build a house for the name of the Lord God of Israel. And the Lord said unto David, my father: Whereas it was in thine heart to build an house unto my name, thou didst well that is was in thine heart.' As if to say, David, you will not be able to finish the temple; you will not be able to build it. Your dream will not be fulfilled'.
So many of us in life start out building temples: temples of character, temples of justice, temples of peace. And so often we don't finish them...because life is like Schubert's 'Unfinished Symphony'. At so many points we start, we try, we set out to build our various temples. And I guess one of the great agonies of life is that we are constantly trying to finish that which is unfinishable. And so we, like King David, find ourselves in many instances having to face the fact that our dreams are not fulfilled.

Life is a continual story of shattered dreams! Mahatma Gandhi laboured for years and years for the independence of his people. And through a powerful nonviolent revolution he was able to win that independence. He struggled to unite his own people, and nothing was greater in his mind than to have India's one great, united country moving toward a higher destiny. This was his dream! But Ghandi had to face the fact that he was assassinated and soon died with a broken heart, because that nation he wanted to unite ended up being divided between India and Pakistan as a result of the conflict between the Hindus and the Moslems. Life is a long continual story of setting out to build a temple and not being able to finish it. (Mahatma Ghandi...1869-1948)

So many of our forebearers used to sing about freedom. And they dreamed of the day that they would be able to get out of the bosom of slavery, the long night of injustice. And they used to sing little songs: 'Nobody knows the trouble I seen, nobody knows but Jesus'. They thought about a better day as they dreamed their dream! Yet, so many died without having their dream fulfilled.

Some of us are trying to build a temple of peace. We speak out against war, we protest, but it seems that your head is going against a concrete wall. It seems to mean nothing. And so often as you set out to build the temple of peace, you are left lonesome; you are left discouraged and left bewildered. You must face the fact that there is a tension at the heart of the universe between good and evil. Hinduism refers to this as a struggle between illusion and reality. Platonic philosophy used to refer to it as a tension between body and soul. Traditional Judaism and Christianity refer to it as a tension between God and Satan. Every time you set out to love, something keeps pulling on you, trying to get you to hate. Every time you set out to be kind and say nice things about people, something is pulling on you to be jealous and envious and to spread evil gossip about them. This is a civil war going on.
There's a tension at the heart of human nature...and whenever we set out to dream our dreams and to build our temples, we must be honest enough to recognize it.

If I can leave anything with you this morning, let me urge you to be sure that you have a strong boat of faith. The winds are going to blow. The storms of disappointment are coming. The agonies and the anguishes are coming. And be sure that your boat is strong, and also be sure that you have an anchor. And be very sure that your anchor will hold!”

Abraham Lincoln, born February 1809, dreamed of becoming a United States President. Being a politician in Illinois for many years, it was not until November 1860 that he became the 16th US President, working his way up the political ladder, with defeats along the way. He was shot in the Ford Theatre, March 1865...before several of his presidential dreams were realized.

Woodrow Wilson, the 27th President of United States dreamed a dream of a League of Nations; however he died before the promise was delivered. (1913-1921)

Adolf Hitler, too had a dream...with which we are all familiar.

We shall all remember “I Have a Dream” by Martin Luther King Jr. (a few excerpts)
“I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for our freedom in the history of the nation........................
And even though we face difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day the nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.'
With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day. And this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:

My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.
Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride.
From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:
Free at last! Free at Last!
Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!”

Well, Readers...that is the story of Life!
Consider that we endure storms...created by Mother Nature...the floods; the landslides; the forest fires; the volcanic eruptions, earthquakes and tsunamis; snow blizzards and high winds that blitz our highways and cities; torrential downpours...but seldom a rainbow! How beautiful that is, when it appears...to quiet our lands and bring peace to our souls!

Perhaps we should adopt the Caribbean philosophy of living life...Be Happy! Don't Worry! Be Happy!
Harry Belafonte and Bob Marley, through their calypso music depicted the lifestyle and culture of the islands....e.g. “Day-O (Banana Boat Song). Remain calm and serene...Enjoy Life to its Fullest!

For several years, my cousin Zella lived in Toronto. She and her sister (who lived in Hamilton) never married, so lived independently with jobs of their choosing. Her sister had a profitable secretarial position, while Zella worked as a housekeeper in various homes, assisting the families. The two sisters spoke each Sunday morning by telephone “to keep in touch”. For many years, I had not known where Zella lived; nor did she know where and how to contact my sister or me. It was not until her sister's death that I, after several years, met Zella in her wheelchair at the Hamilton funeral home. From that time onward, I visited her every two weeks in her bachelorette apartment near Rexway Drive. We would share dinner together in the adjacent nursing home's dining room. We'd spend a few enjoyable hours together, often with eminating grins and smiles upon her face...before returning home in her
motorized “chair”. She was in her late 80's, yet rode with great gusto and spirit...with a small Canadian flag atop the rear aerial, blowing in the wind as she scooted along the concrete walkways. More than once did she misjudge her steering ...falling into the grass or curbside until someone would “up-right” her. Snow, rain and wind never prevented her from our bi-weekly meetings!

One time I asked her, “Zella, if you had the physical energy and desire to do anything you wished and which you have never tried, what would it be?” Quickly she replied, “I've never flown...never been up in a plane...what's it like?” I then gave her some impressions of my great experiences over the years.
“Would you like to travel some place?...I'd accompany you,” I stated. Simple answer was “No”.(Perhaps it was the stress of flying...or even the element of the unknown.) “But I would like to own a fur coat...a mink coat...it must be a mink coat!” she commented. We discussed the colour, size, length and style. “Where are you going to wear this mink coat?”, I asked. “When I visit with you...or going to the bank or shopping.” We discussed the amount of money she was prepared to spend. She knew of the furrier in Hamilton, whose owner is a personal friend of mine; I'd discuss it with her and relay the information. So it was, two weeks later, that with three coats separately bagged in the trunk of my car, I arrived to sell Zella a mink coat; she selected a light sable coloured (almost palomino), full length and with the softest fur she had ever felt! She hugged it...like a child with a well loved Christmas present. Then putting it on, she discovered that I had placed leather gloves of the finest kid and a colourful headscarf in the pockets...her only winter hand wear was a well-worn pair of woollen mittens. With a very proud face and smiling unceasingly, Zella seated herself on her scooter and off we went to the Dining Room. She felt very regal as she acknowledged her acquaintances...all she needed was to perfect the “Queen Elizabeth” wave!

Dreams...Sometimes Do Come True!

Another time, she sadly commented that, “No one comes to see me except you and Jack (the son of a family whom she felt she had raised from a young boy...now married with two children). “Whom do you think would visit you?”, I asked. “Friends in Mississauga,” she answered. Asking, “Do you believe they are still alive?”, she stated, “They've not been here in over a year...I'd like to see them.”
We discovered... this would be impossible!

Eventually, I had to place her in hospital due to a fall from her kitchen chair...fell asleep and broke her leg. Jack and I knew she would never return to her apartment to care for herself. We found a “rehab
place” for her in the nearby nursing home which she regarded “as temporary”. She was 92 when she passed away. The residents and patients missed her speedy scooter, her flying flag, cheery smile and greetings to all! At the chapel service, I was advised that she daily met with a few in the upstairs lounge to chat about...etiquette...the English language...diction and speech...Christian faiths or read chapters from a novel to them. What a Dear Precious Soul!

Did you ever dig to find a natural spring? You have to dig through the hard ground, move away all stones and rocks...and after labourious work, the thirsty ground becomes damp. Dig deeper and you uncover a beautiful underground stream that washes away everything in its path. This experience is as a parable...with a moral to attaining a goal inspired from our dream..

Yes, some dreams are fantasies; others are achieveable! If the latter, then one must strive to activate them. First, identify the dreams. Analyze any misconceptions. Consider the possible personal blocks to attain results. Dreams may come true with logical foresight...a) select the 3 most important dream wishes...b) write down 3 steps for each to be accomplished...c) estimate the number of hours, weeks, months or years to achieve each.

A couple of quotes I recently heard are so applicable here:
“Waiting for the Moment
Leaves one with an Undesirable Destination.”
(Solomon Fein)

“The Future belongs to Those
who Believe in the Beauty of Their Dreams.”
(Eleanor Roosevelt)

“Enjoy Life! Live it so you Die with No Regrets.
(from a recent novel)


Merle Baird-Kerr
April 25, 2011