With
Joel Osteen's words, I fully agree. “Every
day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or
offended. But what you're doing when you indulge these negative
emotions, is giving
something outside yourself POWER over your happiness!
You can choose to not let little things upset you.” Even
a child with temper tantrums must understand and learn that these
actions are not conducive to obtaining what he wants. If this
behaviour 'works' for him/her, then tantrums become a practised
habit!
Seeing
Red
(excerpted from an article by Joanne Richard ~ Postmedia Network)
WTF...dude? Why is everyone so mad?
Modern life is making us super angry, says Sandi Mann, a
psychological lecturer who has written extensively on anger issues
and we're losing it on trivial annoyances. Inconveniences send us
off the deep end ~ traffic, lineups, self-checkout machines and
Internet disruptions. Our annoyances are bottomless. Drivers
talking on their cellphones rate as a top annoyance with Canadians,
reports a recent Autotrader.ca study, along with slow drivers,
speeders and bad parkers.
We often seem to act like toddlers, expecting the world to revolve
around us and for us to get what we want it. When life does not
perform like that, like toddlers, we stamp our feet in rage. We are
more stressed than ever before and also we have higher
'expectations' that things should go well.
When
people are filled with negative feelings, they are ready to do battle
at the drop of a hat, not to mention a word or a look. Something
small is only the trigger to all the bottled-up negative emotions
recycled for a temporary relief ~ aka 'lashing out'. It all comes
down to an emotional pain or hurt that has been bottled up and not
dealt with, so it turns into anger, even explosive! If the person
learned early in life how to deal with their pain as they experienced
it, and expressed their anger appropriately at the time when they
felt hurt...they will feel free. Unfortunately, people never learn
the skills to deal with their emotions. For many,
it`s easier to do nothing!
Anger, the most commonly suppressed emotion, is not inherently bad
~ it has evolutionary value and it is potentially a motivating,
positive force. It is only bad when we have too much of it or
express it inappropriately. Channelling anger is the best way to use
it to advantage ~ for example, do something positive to change
things.
“The
strong person is not the good wrestler;
Rather, the strong person is the one who controls himself when he is
angry.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari)
Road
Rage:
It
happened a few years ago when I turned south on Walker's Line with
plenty of space before the down-bound traffic approached. Evident
was the fact that a 30-something-aged woman was passing this line of
vehicles and speeding. Feeling that I had intercepted 'her lane',
she hurriedly passed on my left...cut in front of me...coming to an
abrupt stop in front my vehicle. She immediately opened her car
door, leaving it open (against the down-bound traffic)...marched back
to me...and with fists pounding on my window, yelled “Open it!
Open it!” Calmly I sat there, ignoring her demand. As a last
resort, she hustled to her car, retrieved pen and paper and copied my
licence plate number! Yelled at me again...then with no response,
she took off!
Anger
is never
without a reason, but seldom without a good one.
(BenjaminFranklin)
Papelbon
Done After Fight With Harper:
Washington National`s closer, Jonathan Papelbon will miss the rest
of the season after his dugout fight with teammate, Bryce Harper...4
games because of a team suspension for that episode and 3 games
because he dropped his appeal to a Major League Baseball ban for
throwing at an opponent`s head the previous week.
On
Sunday, after Harper (a leading National League MVP contender) flied
out in the 8th
inning against Philadelphia, he headed to the dugout where he and
Papelbon exchanged words. The argument escalated and Papelbon reached
out with his left hand and grabbed Harper by the throat. Papelbon
then shoved the outfielder toward the bench with both hands before
teammates and coaching staff pulled the pair apart. The National`s
General Manager, Mike Rozzo called what Papelbon did “not
acceptable” and
“not in line with the way our players are expected to conduct
themselves.”
Shoplifter
Rage: Jadwiga
Bajzert is a 60-year-old church lady with a bad temper. That 'anger
management issue' landed her in provincial court Wednesday (September
30th)
is a case best described as 'shoplifter rage'. Court was told that
in March of 2014, Bajzert was observed stuffing her purse with bread,
bacon and sausage at the Starksky Fine Foods on Queenston Road. That
was bad enough, but things took a turn to nasty when the store's
'loss-prevention-officer' confronted her in front of the store. The
said officer in court, stated she had a gun and would shoot
him...then bit the officer's left hand and kicked him. When he tried
to prevent her from fleeing in her Chevrolet Impala, she put the car
in reverse with the driver's door open and aggressively backed up,
knocking the loss-prevention officer to the ground (who wasn't
seriously hurt). He got a photo of the licence plate as she was last
seen driving north on Nash Road. She was arrested at her home in
Stoney Creek.
A teary-eyed, remorseful Bajzert, accompanied by her husband,
pleaded guilty to theft under $5,000 and assault. Court also learned
that when she was on bail she stole a $60 bottle of whiskey from the
LCBO on Highway 8 in July...also pleading guilty to that theft.
Ontario
Court Justice Timothy Culver agreed to a joint submission that saw
the Polish native and Canadian citizen sentenced to the seven
days of pretrial custody
(she had served previously), along
with 18 months of probation and 40 hours of community service. She
was ordered to seek “Anger
Management” counselling.
Justice Culver had a warning for her:
“If
this keeps up, you're going to face a period of incarceration
and it won't be for a short time. You can't keep doing this!
Get some counselling for your
anger...or you won't enjoy the experience
next time you come to court!”
(as reported by Ken Peters to the Hamilton Spectator)
``In controversy, the instant we feel anger, we have already ceased
striving for the truth and begun striving for ourselves. (Buddha)
How to Cope:
DON`T GED MAD...GET EVEN TEMPERED!
Expert Sandi Mann suggests:
Slow your breathing down.
Use self-talk...for example...will this matter to me in 5 years?
Lower your expectations...life is not perfect.
Expect things to go wrong sometimes.
Be kind to people.
When these fail...get 'anger management' counselling!
Merle Baird-Kerr...written October 1, 2015
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