Valentine Musings...

 Love:  It may not be what you think!

“Here's the hard truth about love:  There is no such thing as everlasting love!

Nor is it meant to endure, be unconditional or exclusive.  In fact, thinking of

love in those terms could be a recipe for disaster and loneliness,” says a

psychology professor from the University of North Carolina.

“Instead,” she says, “Love is made up of micro-moments of connection or

positivity between people that can take place many times a day.  It can occur

between those in relationships, colleagues and even between strangers.  These

are the building blocks that make up love.  It seems like these micro-moments

of connection is where the action is.

“Research has shown that the most stable relationships are driven by the mild,

small moments of love, like...expressing appreciation, spending moments 

together or trying new activities together as opposed to grand gestures of love..

“You don't need to wait for the lightning bolt!. It comes down to three sentiments

that must be shared for such micro-moments to occur:  A shared positive emotion,

where your Heart, Brain and Bio-chemistry start to mirror each other and give

a momentary sense of mutual care.

“When people are in conversation and paying close attention to each other,

there is evidence to show that their brain activity is mirroring each other in

very widespread ways. These moments are small,  but they add up over time

and create a positive feedback loop.

 “And the opposite holds true, too.
Mirroring negativity is a recipe for short  relationships. 
In relationships where one person's negativity is countered with neutrality 
or positivity, those relationships are able to endure.”

How  to Find Your One and Only

(by Maja Begovic)

Here are some pearls of wisdom that may help

bring you and your beloved together.

Believe in Your Soul Mate and Be Patient:

          Fate doesn’t work on a schedule.  Your soul mate might cross your path when

          you’re 8 or 80 years old.  If  you can believe in love ~ even when life doesn’t

          seem to be taking  you in that direction ~ you’re already halfway there.

Make Yourself a Better Person:

          Next, begin the process of self-improvement.   

          Be the type of person people fall in love with.

          If you think you need a better job or education…go back to school.

          If you want to improve your health…go to the gym and get in shape.

          If you want to expand your horizons…then begin to volunteer with a

          non-profit organization and see how improving the lives of people can

          help bring new perspective into your own life.
          Become a great person...Find a great person...Create a great relationship.

Don’t Hate Being Single:

          Honour the state of not yet having a mate.

          Enjoy your life, go out with friends & pursue paths of self-improvement.

          Spend time fine-tuning skills, nurturing interests and having adventures.

          Study, take courses and do things that help you grow personally…

          spiritually…professionally.  Live fully and stay open.

          Love may not be far behind!

How Will I Know When I Do Find My Soul Mate?

          Your soul mate will be a person you will feel a very strong and passionate

          connection with, as well as an old connection.  In other words, you will

          feel as if you have known the person a long time, even though you may

          have just met him or her recently.  Even in moments of doubt and fear,

          open your arms to love.  Know that every step you take in the direction

          of love…will bring your true love closer to you!

                                                   Make an ordinary day extra-ordinary!

                                                  Every day holds a chance for romance!

                                                                    (Joie de Vivre)

Learning the Language of Love

Each of us has a love language.  The problem comes when we assume that our

partner has the same love language and therefore wants to be shown love in the

same way we want to be shown love.  The wisest couples  discover the love

language of their partner and learn that language.

Assumptions are the termites of relationships!  The simple cure for assumptions

is to “check it out.  Ask.”  Miles Franklin, stated, “Someone to tell it to is one of

the fundamental needs of human beings.”

“The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but

to have another  with whom you might share your completeness.” (Neil Walsch)

“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.

'Pooh!', he whispered.  'Yes, Piglet?'

'Nothing,' said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw.

'I just wanted to be sure of you.'”

(A.A.Milne)

No other words required.

Red Skelton's Recipe for the Perfect Marriage

(Thanks to Tom for sending the following)

For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this.

For those of you not old enough, you will see what you missed.  Either way, his

humour was always clean and he was a great entertainer.  A re-run of  great

'one-liners' from the man who was known for his clean humour:

          Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good

          food and companionship.  She goes on Tuesdays and I go on Fridays.

          We also sleep in separate beds.  Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

          I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

          I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.  “Somewhere

          I've not been in a long time!” she said.  So I suggested the kitchen.

          We always hold hands.  If I let her go, she shops.

          She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.

          She said, “There are too many gadgets, and no place  to sit down!”

          So I bought her an electric chair.

          My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in

          the carburetor.  I asked where the car was. She told me, “In the lake!”

          She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, “Am I too late for the garbage?”

          The driver said, “No, jump in!”

          Remember:  Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

         

           I married Miss Right.  I just didn't know her first name was “Always”.

          I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.  I don't like to interrupt her.

          The last fight was my fault, though.  My wife asked, “What's on the TV?”

          I said, “Dust.”

Can't  you just hear him say all of these?  I love it. These were the good old days

when humour didn't have to start with a four letter word.  It was just clean and

simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words,

“And May God Bless” with a big smile on his face.

“Romantic Words of Wisdom”

Love isn’t about whom you live with ~

it’s about who you can’t live without!

Merle Baird-Kerr … composed February 13, 2013

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