I believe you'll enjoy this.
Whoever wrote it could have been my next door neighbour
because it totally described my childhood to a perfect “T”!
Black and White (if under 45, you won't understand).
You could hardly see for all the snow. Spread the 'rabbit ears' as
far as they will go.
“Good
Night, David.” ~ “Good Night, Chet!”
My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same
cutting board with the same knife...and no bleach...but we didn't
seem to get food poisoning.
My Mom uesed to defrost hamburger and I used to eat it raw,
sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a
brown paper bag, (not in ice pack coolers). Never got e.coli.
Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead
of a pristine pool;
(talk about boring), no beach closures then.
The
term 'cell
phone'
would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell,
and a pager was the school PA system.
We
all took gym, not PE...risking permanent damage injury with a pair of
high top Ked's
(only worn in gym) instead of cross-training athletic shoes with air
cushion soles and built in light reflectors.
I can't recall any injuries ~ must have happened 'cause they tell us
how much safer we are now.
Flunking gym was not an option...even for stupid kids! I guess PE
must be much harder than gym.
Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national
anthem...and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of
negative attention. We must have had horribly damaged psyches! What
an archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses? Ours
wore a hat and everything.
I thought I was supposed to accomplish something
before I was allowed to be proud of myself.
I just cannot recall how bored we were without Computers, Play
Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations. Oh
yeah...And where was the Benadryl and steriliztion kit when I got
that bee sting! I could have been killed.
We
played 'King
of the Hill'
on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites...and when we
got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of Mercurochrome...kids
liked it better 'cause it didn't sting like iodine did...and then we
got our butt spanked. Now, it's a trip to the emergency room,
followed by a 10-day dose of of a $99 bottle of antibiotics and then
Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly
vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.
We didn't act up at the neighbour's house either; because if we did,
we got our butt spanked there...and then we got our butt spanked
again when we got home.
.
To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that
they were from a disfunctional family. How could we have possibly
known that? We needed to get into anger management classses and
into'group therapy'. !We were so duped by so many societal ills, that
we didn't even notice that
the
entire country was not taking Prozac!
How did we ever survive!
Love to all of us who shared this era...and to all who didn't ~ sorry
for what you missed.
I wouldn't trade it for anything!
(The foregoing submitted to me by Meg)
INFLATION
TODAY
Wife
to her Accountant husband: What
is
inflation?
Husband:
Earlier
you were 36-24-36 ~ but now you are 48-40-48. Though you have
everything bigger than before, your value has become less than
before.
This is INFLATION.
Economics is not that difficult if we have the right examples.
Interviewer:
What
is Recession?
Candidate:
When
“Wine and Women” get replaced by “Water and Wife”, that
critical phase is called
Recession!
Accountancy
Fact: What
is the difference between Liability & Assset?
A drunk friend is a Liability...but...A drunk girlfriend is an
Asset.
An Economist beautifully explained two reasons for having 2 wives.
A: Monopoly should be broken.
B: Competition improves the quality of service.
If you have one wife...she fights with you.
If you have two wives...they will fight for you!
When you are in love... wonders happen.
But once you get married...you wonder, what happened.
Philosophy
of Marriage: At
the beginning, every wife treats her husband as GOD...
Later, somehow...don't know why...alphabets get reversed.
Secret Formula for Married Couples:
“Love
One Another”
and if that doesn't work, bring the last word in the middle!
Beautiful
Explanation by Swami Vivekananda
Explaining the meaning of 'Association' he said,
The raindrop from the sky ~ if it is caught in hands ~ it is pure
enough for drinking.
If it falls in a gutter, its value drops ~ so much that it can't
be used for washing the feet.
If it falls on a hot surface ~ it evaporates.
If it falls on an oyster ~ it
becomes a pearl.
The drop is the same ~ but its existence and worth depends on whom
it associates.
Always be associated with people who are good at heart.
(The foregoing submitted to me by Dilu)
Written by Merle Baird-Kerr...July 26, 2018
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