What a bargain
grandchildren are!
I give them my
loose change ~
and they give me a
million dollars' worth of pleasure.
(Gene Perret)
Grandma often has
better practical sense
...whereby, Grandpa
can afford to project his humourous, yet cynical view of Life.
Why Grandpas are
Different
(Thank you, Carolyn
for this submission)
There was this loving grandfather
who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on
weekends. Every Saturday morning, he
would take his 5-year old grand daughter out for a drive in the car for some
quality time ~ pancakes, ice-cream, candy ~ just his grand daughter.
One particular Saturday, however,
he had a terrible cold and could not get out of bed. He knew his
grand daughter always anticipated their drives and would be very
disappointed. Luckily, his wife came to
the rescue and said that she would take their grand daughter for her weekly
drive and breakfast.
When they returned, the little
girl, anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather who was still in bed. “Well, did you enjoy your ride with Grandma?”
he asked. “Not really, Papa...it was
boring!
“We didn't see a single asshole,
a queer, a piece of shit, horse's ass or socialist left wing Obama lover...nor
a blind bastard, dip shit, Muslim camel humper or son-of-a-bitch anywhere we
went! We just drove around and Grandma
smiled at everyone she saw. I didn't
really have any fun.”
Almost, brings a tear
to your eye, doesn't it?
Remember Grandma's
Clothesline?
(We are probably the
last generation that will remember
what a clothesline
was...in some places today, they are illegal.)
Thank you, Tom, for
this enlightening rendition!
We had a long wooden
pole (clothes pole) that was used to push the clothesline up, so that longer
items (sheets, pants, etc.) didn't brush the ground and get dirty. I can hear my grandmother now...relating the
Basic Rules for Clotheslines:
You had to hang the socks by the toes...NOT the top.
You hung pants by the BOTTOM (cuffs)...NOT the
waistbands.
You had to WASH the
clothesline(s) before hanging any clothes ~walk the entire length of each line
with a damp cloth around the lines.
You had to hang the clothes in
a CERTAIN ORDER...always hang “whites” first.
You NEVER hung a shirt by the
shoulders ~ always by the tail! What would the neighbours think?
Wash day on a Monday! NEVER hang clothes on the weekend or on
Sunday, for Heaven's sake!
Hang the sheets and towels on
the OUTSIDE lines so you could hide your “unmentionables” in the middle
(perverts & busybodies, y'know!)
It didn't matter if it was
sub-zero weather...clothes would “FREEZE-DRY”.
ALWAYS gather the clothes pins
when taking down the clothes.! Pins left
on the lines were “tacky”!
If you were efficient, you
would line the clothes up so that each item did NOT NEED two clothes pins, but
shared one of the clothes pins with the next washed item.
Clothes off the line before
dinner time, neatly folded in clothes basket, ready to be ironed. IRONED??!!
Well, that's a whole OTHER subject!
Messages from the
Clothesline
A clothesline was a
news forecast to neighbours passing by;
There were no secrets
you could keep when clothes were hung to dry.
It also was a
friendly link...for neighbours always knew
If company had
stopped on by, to spend a night or two.
For then, you'd see
the “fancy sheets” and towels upon the line;
You'd see the
“company table cloths” with intricate
designs.
The line announced a
baby's birth from folks who lived inside,
As brand new infant
clothes were hung so carefully with pride.
The ages of the
children could so readily be known
By watching how the
sizes changed, you'd know how much they'd grown!
It also told when
illness struck as extra sheets were hung;
Then, nightclothes
and a bathrobe too, haphazardly were strung.
It also said, “On
vacation now” when lines hung limp and bare;
It told, “We're
back!” when full lines sagged with not an inch to spare!
New folks in town
were scorned upon, if wash was dingy and gray,
As neighbours
carefully raised their brows and looked the other way.
But, clotheslines now
are of the past...for dryers make work much less.
Now, what goes on
inside a home, is anybody's guess!
I really miss that
way of life...it was a friendly sign
When neighbours knew
each other best...by what hung on the line!
Sam Levenson's
Philosophy
The simplest toy,
one which even the youngest child can operate ~
is called a
Grandparent!
Merle
Baird-Kerr...scripted July 14, 2014
Comments
appreciated...e-mail to:
No comments:
Post a Comment