Garfield's
Explanation of the Oil Crisis
In a colour cartoon of Garfield in his cat slippers, night shirt and night cap...holding
a cup of hot coffee...he states: A
lot of folks can't understand how we
came to have an oil shortage in Canada.
Well, the answer is very simple!
Nobody
bothers to “check the oil.”
We just
didn't know we were getting low.
The
reason for this is purely geographical...
our oil
is located in Alberta, Saskatchewan,
British Columbia, Manitoba,
coastal New Brunswick and coastal Newfoundland.
Our
dipsticks are located in Ottawa.
Any
questions? No? Didn't think so!
How to Wash the
Cat (instructions by the Dog)
Thoroughly
clean the toilet.
Add the
required amount of shampoo to the toilet water and have
both lids
lifted.
Obtain the
cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
In one
smooth movement, put the cat in the
toilet and close both lids
(you may
need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).
CAUTION: Do not get any part of
your body too close to the edge,
as his paws
will be reaching out for any purchase he can find.
Flush the
toilet three or four times. This
provides a “power wash and
rinse” which
I have found to be quite effective.
Have someone
open the door to the outside and ensure that there are
no people
between the toilet and the outside door.
Stand behind
the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
The
now-clean-cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside
where he
will dry himself.
And the dog...
Prince,
rolls over
hilariously on the floor!
The Crow, Rabbit
and Fox
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crowand asked him,
“Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered,
“Sure...why not?”
So the rabbit sat on
the ground below the crow and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and
ate it.
MORAL of the
story: To be sitting and doing nothing,
you must be
sitting...very, very high up!
God and the Dog
(Thanks to Sherrie
for forwarding to me)
When God had made the
earth and sky,
The flowers and the
trees,
He then made all the
animals,
The fish, the birds
and bees.
And when at last he
finished ,
Not one was quite the
same.
God said, “I’ll walk
this earth of mine
And give each one a
name.”
And so He travelled
far and wide
And everywhere he
went,
A little creature
followed him
Until its strength
was spent.
When all were named
upon the earth,
And in the sky and
sea,
The little creature
said, “Dear Lord,
“There’s not one left
for me”.
“I’ve left you to the
end.
I’ve turned my own
name back to front…
And call you DOG, my
friend.”
(Author Unknown)
“Pearl of Wisdom”
Don't think there are no
crocodiles
because the water is calm!
(Unknown author)
Of Interest:
Be sure to read next
posted article ~
What We Can Learn
from Animals!
Merle
Baird-Kerr...written February 3, 2013
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